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My Pen

The Kids in the Hall 1991 Season 3 Episode 1

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A bank clerk's missing pen sends him on a desperate chase after the customer who borrowed it.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At his bank desk, a fussy clerk discovers that his favourite pen is gone and refuses the chewed-up substitute offered by his manager, Ms. Unloop. Searching and phoning around turn up nothing until a smirking co-worker suggests he might have lent it out, setting off a dreamlike, extreme close-up flashback of a customer borrowing the pen and licking its tip. The clerk bolts from the bank just as the customer climbs into a taxi, pictures ever-worse misuses of his pen, and flings himself onto the side of the moving cab while its driver misreads his shouting. When the cab finally stops, the customer hands the pen back with a mild apology, and Ms. Unloop turns up to bundle the shaken clerk in a blanket on the sidewalk. Back at his wicket, the next customer who asks to borrow a pen discovers it is now chained to a contraption strapped to the clerk's head.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 6

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

It was in my pocket before.

Heard you lost your pen. Maybe you lent it to someone.

I think he's saying, "I'm a mother hen."

My pen! My pen!

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

Bruce McCulloch
Writer
Writer
Michael Kennedy
Director
Director

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

The official episode rundown titles this sketch "The Pen". Written by Bruce McCulloch and directed by Michael Kennedy, it was filmed on location in Toronto in 1991, with McCulloch harnessed to a moving taxi on an open downtown street. Scott Thompson plays both the office manager and the cab driver.

ScriptEnglish · 28 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:10
Office Employee
Work, work, work, yep, a lot of paper, work, all right, my pen! My pen. My pen. My pen.
00:25
Ms. Unloop
What, Barton? What's all the ruckus?
00:28
Office Employee
My pen. My pen. My pen is missing.
00:32
Ms. Unloop
Yes, and?
00:34
Office Employee
I've lost all... I've lost my pen, the one I do all my work with.
00:39
Ms. Unloop
Here, use mine.
00:42
Office Employee
No! Has anybody here seen my pen? It was in my pocket before. No? Okay. Everything's fine.
00:54
Office Employee
Come on. i'm all right
00:58
Office Employee
it's It's barton listen did i leave my pen there last night come on dale jack just look
01:07
Co-worker
i heard you lost your pen maybe Maybe you lent it to someone
01:15
Customer who borrowed the pen
can Can i borrow your pen for a sec
01:47
Office Employee
Okay. okay just don't run off all right
02:04
Office Employee
Ah! Stop him!
02:07
Co-worker
Mark, hang up the phone. I think it's just dangling.
02:11
Office Employee
Stop him!
02:38
Office Employee
My pants! Stop him! He's got my pen!
02:53
Office Employee
My pen! My pen! My pen!
03:01
Office Employee
Hey! You got my pen!
03:05
Cab Driver
I think he's saying I'm a hot man.
03:10
Office Employee
You've got my pen!
03:14
Cab Driver
you saying, I'm a mother hen?
03:16
Office Employee
My pen! You've got my pen! Hey, you've got my pen! You've got my pen.
03:35
Customer who borrowed the pen
Oh. Sorry. Here.
03:41
Ms. Unloop
You'll be all right.
03:42
excuse
03:43
Ms. Unloop
all over there we go there we go yeah
03:48
Bank Customer
uh excuse me can i borrow your pen for a sec
03:55
Office Employee
okay Okay, just don't run off.