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Snooker Commentators: Lawrence Caswell and Mike Sylvester: Part II
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Ted and Peter are commentating on a lacklustre afternoon of snooker while apologising for sound interference in the north and wondering if anyone in the south is watching. Ted calls the two players respectable young men and wonders aloud how they came to be gay. Peter, in a supposedly enlightened tone, says the best thing anyone of that persuasion can do is announce it early rather than waste decades hiding, which prompts Ted to point out that those years were not wasted for Peter, who won a major title twice. Ted then worries that gay men might force themselves on straight players, and Peter reassures him that such things happen in jokes and in a famous film, not in the bar at the Crucible, before the segment cuts to its end card.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Spend 42 years living a lie.
You won the UK Championship twice.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Ted Wilkes
Oh, and that's a bad miss. Viewers in the north may be experiencing some sound interference, for which we apologise. What about viewers in the south? We haven't got any viewers in the south, have we?
- 00:21
Peter DeCoursey
Yes, well, it's not the highest standard of play this afternoon, but it is respectable.
- 00:26
Ted Wilkes
Yes, it is perfectly respectable, and these are two perfectly respectable young men. Ben, they were born a certain way, presumably, or perhaps they were given dollies as children. Who knows how this happens, but now they've just got to get on with it.
- 00:43
Peter DeCoursey
Well, they do say to you these days, Ted, that if you do find yourself of the queer or bent way of thinking, then the best thing to do is just come right out and say it, and don't, whatever you do, spend 42 years living a lie.
- 00:58
Ted Wilkes
Guy. Those years weren't wasted for you, Peter. You won the UK Championship twice.
- 01:04
Peter DeCoursey
I know.
- 01:05
Ted Wilkes
But what I didn't realise is these guys, these gay guys, they won't just come up and do it to you if you don't want them to. As I know, many in the sport fear they will.
- 01:20
Peter DeCoursey
In jokes, Ted, in the film Deliverance, but not in the Crucible Bar.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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