Disney Plans Hero's Death

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:04
   

   Mallory Everton

   Okay, in the next shot, the Dark Lord raises his weapon and he says, Fools, if you... Hello, writer's room.

2. 00:12

   Speaker 1 ?

   The new animated character wants to see you.

3. 00:15
   

   Mallory Everton

   Okay, send him right in. All right, guys, it's the mentor character. The animators just finished him last week. Sir Gavin, buddy, how's it going?

4. 00:28
   

   Sir Gavin

   Not good. I've been doing some research, and I'm very concerned about this movie.

5. 00:32

   Writer ?

   So, can we help you with something?

6. 00:34
   

   Sir Gavin

   Yes. You can promise not to kill me. So you promise not to kill me?

7. 00:44

   Writer ?

   Gavin, you are a main character, buddy.

8. 00:47
   

   Sir Gavin

   Yes, but mentor characters like me always die. There's Qui-Gon Jinn, Captain Pike, Aslan.

9. 00:54

   Writer ?

   But we made you an awesome fighter, like Obi-Wan or Sirius Black.

10. 00:58

    Writer ?

    Or Yoda.

11. 00:59
    

    Sir Gavin

    Okay, you know all those people are dead, right?

12. 01:03

    Writer ?

    Gavin, calm down, okay? Mentors are tough.

13. 01:05
    

    Sir Gavin

    Really? Because they all seem to die very wussy deaths. Like falling off a cliff after the Balrog let go. Or contracting magical arm cancer and then committing Snape-assisted suicide.

14. 01:18

    Writer ?

    Okay. Is there any way you'll trust us?

15. 01:21
    

    Sir Gavin

    Yes. You can let me help with the story. No, no, no! No! You guys are storyboarding my death?

16. 01:26

    Writer ?

    No! No, we're not.

17. 01:30

    Writer ?

    Yes, we are.

18. 01:32
    

    Sir Gavin

    How could you? I am the protagonist's father.

19. 01:36
    

    Walt Disney

    Ah, but, Sir Gavin, this is Disney.

20. 01:41
    

    Sir Gavin

    This is a Disney film? I'm a Disney parent? You murderers.

21. 01:48
    

    Walt Disney

    Your fate was decided before you were created.

22. 01:52
    

    Sir Gavin

    Please have mercy. Not all Disney characters have to lose a parent.

23. 01:56
    

    Walt Disney

    No, you're right. Just Cinderella and Snow White, Aladdin, Jasmine, Shang, Quasimodo, Esmeralda, Ariel, Mowgli, Tarzan, Jane, Peter Pan, The Lost Boys, Christopher Robin, Bambi, Simba, Nemo, Todd, The Aristocats, Arthur, Belle, Tiana, Pocahontas, Remy, Linguini, Flick, Atta, Andy, Kuzco, Flynn Rider, Anna, Elsa, Huey, Dewey, and Louie, Lilo, Will Turner, Elizabeth, Swan, Gabriella, Hannah Montana, Mia Thermopolis, and Pollyanna. The mouse createth, and the mouse destroyeth.

24. 02:35
    

    Agent Donovan

    Stop right there! Agent Donovan, Character Protection Program. Sir Gavin's coming with us for his own safety.

25. 02:45
    

    Walt Disney

    Oh, you think he'll be saving some rom-com or Bollywood flick? We'll find him. Uncle Walt always gets his man.

26. 02:53
    

    Agent Donovan

    I don't think so. I'm the guy who saved Jar Jar Binks.

27. 02:57

    Speaker 2 ?

    Oh.

28. 03:02
    

    Agent Donovan

    Not proud. All right, boys, let's head out.

29. 03:08
    

    Sir Gavin

    Um, question, do I have to live with Jar Jar?

30. 03:10
    

    Agent Donovan

    No, he killed him after like an hour.

31. 03:12
    

    Sir Gavin

    Oh, good.

32. 03:13

    Speaker 3 ?

    Hope you liked that video. I have a question for you. If you could save anyone throughout the history of literature and the cinema, who would you save? It could be any character. Comment below, guys.