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A Christmas Carol
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
On Christmas morning, a newly reformed Ebenezer Scrooge (Martin Short) leans out his window and, with the Ghost of Christmas Present (Steve Martin) at his side, starts flinging heavy gold coins to the poor below. Every gift becomes an injury: the orphan sent to buy Tiny Tim's goose takes a coin to the eye, a second orphan and other townspeople are hurt, the ghost's own throwing tips go badly wrong, and a coach driver loses his head. Because nobody else can see the ghost, Scrooge alone looks like a maniac, and his efforts to pay for the damage only add to the toll, with Tiny Tim ending up down a sewer. When Scrooge finally slams his window shut, the shattering glass rains down on the square, and the film closes as a mock Apple Pay advertisement.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Yeah, they can't see me because I'm a ghost, so you look like a total psychopath now.
What you want to do is toss the coin straight down.
My earlier advice was to be nicer to people, but my new advice is to lawyer up.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Mike Diva
Director
Lorne Michaels
Producer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
A filmed segment directed by Mike Diva. It closes as a mock Apple Pay advertisement. Tiny Tim is played by an uncredited child actor.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
We now return to Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.
- 00:05
Ebenezer Scrooge
No, Spirits, please. Enough of these ghastly visions. I want to be a better man. I want to live.
- 00:13
Ebenezer Scrooge
I'm I'm in my room I'm alive. I can't believe. Thank alive!
- 00:24
Ebenezer Scrooge
Thank you, spirits! Thank you for showing me the way.
- 00:29
Ebenezer Scrooge
I'm as light as a feather. I'm as merry as a schoolboy. I'm as giddy as a drunken man. And I will change. I swear to it, I will change.
- 00:38
Ebenezer Scrooge
I just hope it's not too late. Yes,
- 00:44
Ebenezer Scrooge
You lad! You down there!
- 00:47
Sarah Sherman
Me?
- 00:48
Ebenezer Scrooge
Yes, you boy. Tell me, what day is today?
- 00:51
Sarah Sherman
Why, it's Christmas Day, sir.
- 00:54
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ah! Christmas! Then I haven't missed it. The spirits did it all in one night. My dear boy, do you know the prize goose in the window down the street?
- 01:03
Sarah Sherman
The one as big as me?
- 01:05
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ah! That's the one. Go and buy it so that Tiny Tim and his family might have a Christmas feast.
- 01:10
Sarah Sherman
But what should I buy it with, sir? I'm so poor!
- 01:15
Ebenezer Scrooge
Why, with this, of course!
- 01:25
Sarah Sherman
Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing? I'm blind!
- 01:31
Ebenezer Scrooge
What in Catcher!
- 01:32
Sarah Sherman
What, you're blaming me?
- 01:34
Ebenezer Scrooge
Then here, okay? Please take this for your medical bills.
- 01:37
What
- 01:40
Marcello Hernandez
This crazy old man is is whipping orphans?
- 01:48
Ebenezer Scrooge
I didn't notice an orphan!
- 01:50
Marcello Hernandez
Hey, I look like I have living parents.
- 01:56
The Ghost of Christmas Present
Hey, Scrooge, just thought I'd check in on you and see how you... Oh, my God!
- 02:01
The Neighbor
Someone arrest that man! He's blinding children for sport!
- 02:06
Sarah Sherman
He's always been a cruel old man. And he hates us orphans.
- 02:11
The Ghost of Christmas Present
Let me guess. You toss the coin way up in the air, right? That's a classic mistake. What you want to do is toss the coin straight down. Now watch this.
- 02:24
Ebenezer Scrooge
What are you doing?
- 02:27
Sarah Sherman
I couldn't see!
- 02:28
The Ghost of Christmas Present
What happened?
- 02:28
The Neighbor
He's blind and out of town he is!
- 02:30
The Ghost of Christmas Present
Okay, that was my Here, kid. Put some ice on it.
- 02:40
Ebenezer Scrooge
That was him!
- 02:42
The Ghost of Christmas Present
Yeah, they can't see me because I'm a ghost, so you look like a total psychopath now.
- 02:46
Is it true, Mr. Scrooge? Are you blinding children for fun?
- 02:51
Ebenezer Scrooge
Of course not, Tiny Tim. I'm a changed man, I tell you. Now, take this money to fix your legs, and just throw it on the ground right there, and you can pick it up, okay?
- 03:01
My
- 03:10
The Ghost of Christmas Present
Okay, my earlier advice was to be nicer to people, but my new advice is to lawyer up.
- 03:16
Ebenezer Scrooge
It's fine. I can take care of this. Let's everyone keep quiet about this whole incident, shall we? And I'll make it worth your while.
- 03:24
It's not locked
- 03:26
The Driver
Please stop yelling and throwing shiny objects! You're going to spook the Hulk!
- 03:47
Ebenezer Scrooge
Okay, well, we've all learned a today, haven't we? But the most important lesson is...
- 03:57
Ebenezer Scrooge
Merry Christmas!
- 03:58
It's Apple Pay. Never use coins a gun.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
