Shana at a Halloween Party

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Becky

   Wow Patrick you really went all out for this Halloween party.

2. 00:04
   

   Patrick

   Yeah, well, Mr. Turkins is coming I had to make it look good for the boss.

3. 00:07
   

   Taran Killam

   Yeah, he's gonna love it. Speaking of love I hope that new girl Shanna's coming.

4. 00:11
   

   Kenan Thompson

   Oh, she is super sexy y'all.

5. 00:13
   

   Patrick

   Yeah.

6. 00:14
   

   Taran Killam

   Yeah, it's like she stepped out of a pantyhose ad

7. 00:19
   

   Boss

   Watch out boss man's here everybody run just joshin

8. 00:23
   

   Becky

   That is the best costume, let me guess you're a man from the 90s

9. 00:30
   

   Boss

   I'm not in costume, Becky.

10. 00:33
    

    Becky

    Sorry. I'm a cat.

11. 00:36
    

    Boss

    Great. Hey guys, is Shanna coming?

12. 00:38
    

    Patrick

    Well, she RSVP'd.

13. 00:40
    

    Boss

    Womp, there it is. I guess I am in a costume. It's called Happy Guy.

14. 00:47
    

    Patrick

    Well, the doorbell must be Shanna.

15. 00:48
    

    Kenan Thompson

    Yeah, it sounded sexy.

16. 00:50
    

    Shana

    Late, everybody. My bunny tail kept getting squished when I was driving here so I had to take off my skirt and finish the drive in my panties.

17. 01:06
    

    Boss

    I wish I were the beaded seat cover in that car.

18. 01:09
    

    Kenan Thompson

    Me too.

19. 01:10
    

    Taran Killam

    Me too times two.

20. 01:12
    

    Patrick

    Me too times two also for me.

21. 01:15
    

    Shana

    Would you mind looking and telling me if my tail is still squished?

22. 01:19
    

    Boss

    I'd be happy to do that.

23. 01:20
    

    Patrick

    I'd be happy. Check it out.

24. 01:21
    

    Shana

    Okay. Is it working? Is it working okay?

25. 01:28
    

    Boss

    Everything's working for me.

26. 01:29
    

    Shana

    Yeah. Okay, Mr. Jerkins. I really like your Planet Hollywood jacket. Can I touch it and get a sense of it?

27. 01:39
    

    Boss

    Yes. That feels good. Yeah, you know, they have a whole website. Um, it's, uh... What is it? It's, uh... It's just a dummy. PlanetHollywood.com

28. 01:53
    

    Kenan Thompson

    That is one sexy piece of biscuit. Somebody pass me the jam.

29. 02:00
    

    Taran Killam

    I will also need a portion of jam as well.

30. 02:03
    

    Shana

    Some people say caramel, and other people say caramel, but nobody says Kareem-al.

31. 02:20
    

    Boss

    Oh, Shanna, I'm gonna start calling you Seinfeld because that was a funny observation.

32. 02:26
    

    Shana

    Okay, Apple, time to get hot and sticky and then go to my mouth.

33. 02:31
    

    Boss

    Oh, yeah, yeah, take a big bite of it.

34. 02:33
    

    Patrick

    That was sexy to the un-max.

35. 02:59
    

    Kenan Thompson

    Truth.

36. 03:00
    

    Taran Killam

    Truth for me as well.

37. 03:02
    

    Boss

    You guys wouldn't know sexy if it sat on your lap and jiggled so hard that the neighbors complained. Hey, watch this. Shanna, look out for that spider over there.

38. 03:10
    

    Shana

    What spider?

39. 03:12
    

    Boss

    Spider's not real.

40. 03:26
    

    Becky

    Yeah, obviously, it has a hat on.

41. 03:30
    

    Boss

    Becky, go put your cookies away.

42. 03:33
    

    Shana

    Oh, well, guess you know what it looks like when I get scared. One time when I got really scared, I just ripped my shirt open and did tons of tiny little bounces in a row. So I hope no one really scares me.

43. 03:47
    

    Boss

    Boo!

44. 04:02
    

    Boss

    Shanna, you make any party heartier.

45. 04:04
    

    Patrick

    Hey, look. Circus peanuts. Everybody loves these. You want one?

46. 04:09
    

    Shana

    Are they real peanuts?

47. 04:10
    

    Patrick

    No. Why? Are you allergic?

48. 04:12
    

    Shana

    Oh, I just have a hard time digesting them. One time, I ate a bunch of peanuts, and I had a pain near my belly button, so the doctor told me he needed a stool sample, and I had to poop in the tiniest, cutest little void cup.

49. 04:28
    

    Shana

    And then the doctor and I left, looked at it and there were peanuts everywhere.

50. 04:35
    

    Shana

    Whole peanuts, regular-sized peanuts, totally undigested peanuts, crumbed peanuts. They were so normal I could have eaten them again. I'm not gonna tell you if I did or not. Let's just say the doctor threw up.

51. 05:01
    

    Boss

    Shanna, you are so refreshing. You have the innocence of a child and and the body of a prostitute who never had kids.

52. 05:08
    

    Shana

    Oh, I forgot. I brought another costume I wanted to show you guys.

53. 05:12
    

    Taran Killam

    Yeah, yeah, I think we might head out.

54. 05:15
    

    Shana

    Oh, no. It's just a sheet ghost with two eyes and a little mouth cut out. Took me three days.

55. 05:21
    

    Boss

    Come on, guys. Sounds like she worked hard on it.

56. 05:23
    

    Shana

    Please. I really want to haunt everybody's bodies.

57. 05:27
    

    Boss

    They really want to.

58. 05:28
    

    Taran Killam

    OK.

59. 05:31
    

    Shana

    Oh, am I all smoothed out?

60. 05:34
    

    Boss

    Ooh, I'll do it.

61. 05:36
    

    Shana

    Okay, here I go. Boo!

62. 05:49
    

    Kenan Thompson

    Wee, that ghost can wiggle.

63. 05:51
    

    Taran Killam

    She sure can. I just wish I could see more jiggle.

64. 05:54
    

    Boss

    So hot.

65. 05:55
    

    Becky

    Yeah, I think something bad's gonna happen.

66. 05:57
    

    Shana

    Ooh. I'm out of cute gas.

67. 06:14
    

    Kenan Thompson

    Me too.

68. 06:26
    

    Patrick

    I live here and I'm leaving.

69. 06:28
    

    Boss

    Thanks a lot, Becky. Shanna, you are intriguing. Is there room under that sheet for me?

70. 06:36
    

    Shana

    Mr. Turkins, why are your eyes crossing? Mr. Turkins got tired. Okay, guess it's time to go.