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Piss Drinker

Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun2020Season 1Episode 3
Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

An anti-doping official arrives to collect urine samples from Mark and Zach, and the more firmly he denies any plan to drink them, the more obvious it becomes.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

While the boys are training at home, an Anti-Doping Agency tester turns up unannounced to take urine samples from Mark and Zach. When they joke that he is going to drink it, he is offended by the suggestion and insists he will deliver the samples to an accredited laboratory. Every step of his procedure points the other way: he produces a tiki glass instead of a beaker, combines the two samples into a garnished cocktail, sniffs coffee beans to clear his palate and admits he has never been thirstier. Putting on a bib announcing his habit, he delivers a stern speech about corruption in sport and then drinks the lot, leaving Mark to wonder whether he took the job for the access or picked up the habit at work.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 4

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I'm from the Anti-Doping Agency. In accordance with our rules, I'm here to test their urine for prohibited substances.

You're gonna use that tiki glass to drink our piss.

Actually, I am the thirstiest that I've ever been.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

The anti-doping tester is never named on screen; Aunty Donna later identified him as Mr Genovese in the "Piss Drinker" episode of their AD Club Netflix Poddy podcast.

ScriptEnglish · 44 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:00

    Zach ?

    Could that be? Oh, I hope it's my mum.

  2. 00:04

    Mr Genovese

    Gentlemen, I'm looking for Mr Mark Samuel Bonanno and Sir Zachary Ruane.

  3. 00:08

    Zach ?

    What's it to ya?

  4. 00:09

    Mr Genovese

    I'm from the Anti-Doping Agency. In accordance with our rules, I'm here to test their urine for prohibited substances.

  5. 00:13

    Zach ?

    Why are you coming mid-limb prep, man?

  6. 00:16

    Mr Genovese

    I'll take that as confirmation that you were Zach and Mark.

  7. 00:17

    Mark ?

    Well, you could have called ahead.

  8. 00:19

    Mr Genovese

    I tested by design unscheduled.

  9. 00:21

    Mark ?

    Yeah, we were joking.

  10. 00:22

    Mr Genovese ?

    Shall we? This through here, man. This through here.

  11. 00:26

    Mark ?

    I want you to walk like that. and there you go hey don't drink it

  12. 00:31

    Mr Genovese

    of course I won't

  13. 00:33

    Zach ?

    oh really you're not gonna drink the piss test pierce

  14. 00:35

    Mr Genovese

    absolutely not that's absurd

  15. 00:36

    Mark ?

    yeah yeah we were just joking

  16. 00:38

    Mr Genovese

    I would never do that

  17. 00:38

    Mark ?

    yeah we know

  18. 00:39

    Mr Genovese ?

    I've never drunk piss in my entire life

  19. 00:41

    Mark ?

    yeah I didn't mean that you were actually going to

  20. 00:43

    Mr Genovese

    it'll be ridiculous of course absolutely yeah indeed

  21. 00:46

    Zach ?

    he's gonna drink out piss

  22. 00:52

    Mr Genovese

    no I'm not

  23. 00:53

    Zach ?

    then what's that

  24. 00:55

    Mr Genovese

    it's a beaker

  25. 00:58

    Zach ?

    that's a tiki glass

  26. 00:59

    Mark ?

    oh my god you're right

  27. 01:00

    Zach

    he's gonna gonna drink up you're gonna use that tiki glass to drink our piss

  28. 01:05

    Mr Genovese

    no I'm not I'm going to get samples of both of your urine and deliver them to an approved and accredited anti-doping laboratory

  29. 01:10

    Zach

    did you see that he mixed up piss together mark are you seeing this oh my god he's gonna drink up he's making a little cocktail oh piss

  30. 01:17

    Mr Genovese

    no I'm not I'm enforcing the codes of nine separate anti-doping authorities from around the world the better myriad of different substances I'm not drinking piss

  31. 01:25

    Zach ?

    yes you are you're gonna drink our piss hey why

  32. 01:28

    Mark ?

    Why's he sniffing coffee beans? He's resetting his palate before he drinks our piss. Maybe he's just thirsty. Can we offer you something like a juice or a Fanta or a Bovril?

  33. 01:37

    Mr Genovese

    No, thank you.

  34. 01:37

    Mark ?

    Right, so you're not thirsty.

  35. 01:39

    Mr Genovese

    Actually, I am the thirstiest that I've ever been.

  36. 01:43

    Zach

    Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He's gonna drink our piss! Don't drink our piss, mate!

  37. 01:49

    Mr Genovese

    I'm a representative of the anti-dubbing agency.

  38. 01:52

    Zach

    He's got a beer bottle! It says I drink piss! Don't drink our piss, mate!

  39. 01:57

    Mr Genovese

    Gentlemen, stop. For a long time the sports industry has been a cesspool of corruption, avarice and greed. At the ADA we say no more. That is why we will not stop until every drug cheat is caught, fined and removed from the industry. That is our goal. That is our mission and we will not stop until our goal is achieved.

  40. 02:20

    Mark

    And he's drinking the piss. Great. Now here is what I would like to know. Do you think he joined the anti-doping authority because he liked drinking piss and could get easy access to piss or is there a culture of piss drinking there and he sort of just fell into it over time

  41. 02:34

    Zach ?

    I'm sorry who are you

  42. 02:36

    Mark ?

    mark

  43. 02:37

    hmm

  44. 02:38

    Mr Genovese ?

    this is my treasure

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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