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Bubu Mobile

Saturday Night Live 2026 Season 52 Episode 5

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Two friends who just want a new phone get overwhelmed by a pair of relentlessly affectionate salesmen at a Dominican-run mobile shop.

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Community rating

– / 10

The funny people

Meet the cast. 4

Highly quotable.

Nobody take care of you like I take care of you.

Everybody have a thigh. Everybody have a knee, and everybody have a batata.

We are not gay. But if we were, this is not what we like.

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A title card promises two men attempting a simple purchase, and the pair walk into Bubu Mobile hoping to replace an old phone. One salesman answers a personal call in Spanish, then swamps them with flattery, pet names and a vow to look after them like family, while the customers grow uneasy. A second salesman is summoned with a shout, and together the staff mock the shoppers, quote an eye-watering price for a phone the store never stocked, and erupt into a chant when one customer offers to pay in full. They keep admiring the customers' legs, deliver an impromptu vocabulary lesson on a Spanish word, insist they are not romantically interested and describe a local saying about the wrath of wives and girlfriends. The pitch ends with an offer of the salesmen's sisters-in-law and a merengue dance break.

ScriptEnglish · 42 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:00
Speaker 1
And now, two men attempt to make a purchase at a Dominican phone store.
00:06
Customer
Hey, man, thanks for coming with me to get a new phone. Yeah, I got my phone here a couple years ago. Is anyone, um, working here right now? Yeah, I think this guy. Uh, excuse me, sir?
00:19
Store Employee
Mira, dile que si me sube la renta yo me voy pa' Santo Domingo, ¿oíste? Yo no quiero tantísimo, es así. ¿Okay? Te llamo ahorita, que aquí acaban de llegar dos gringos. Dale, te llamo ahora.
00:30
Store Employee
Hey! Hello, my friends. Welcome to Bubu Mobile. You came to the right place, Papi. I'm gonna take good care of you, Papi. I'm gonna take good care of you. People don't take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. Nobody take care of you like I take care of you. You're my family. My family, family, family.
00:43
Customer
I'm just looking for a new phone.
00:45
Store Employee
Ah, you looking for a new phone? No me digas, Papi. I thought you came here to buy a new car.
00:51
Store Employee
You're so stupid, Papi. Hey, let's get you a new phone, Papi. I'm gonna bring some options to you, okay?
01:01
Customer
What is happening right now? I don't know, but his pants are so tight, I can see he's uncircumcised.
01:15
Store Employee
Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't eat me with your eyes, Papi. Hey, you don't touch mine, I don't touch yours.
01:24
Customer
Look, can I just speak to a manager, please?
01:27
Store Employee
Okay. No problem. Of course. ¡Ernesto, echa pa' acá que este tiguere quiere un new phone!
01:31
Ernesto
Fuego, fuego! Fiya! Fiya! ¿Qué lo que, papi, qué lo que? Welcome to Bubu Mobile. You're looking good, Papi. You need a boyfriend?
01:45
Store Employee
Look at his face. So nervous.
01:46
Ernesto
Sí, sí, sí, sí, se muere.
01:48
Customer
I think I was just, like, maybe looking for the Flip 17.
01:51
Ernesto
Okay, Papi. What kind of phone you like? A 17?
01:56
Store Employee
You know, if they say she's 17, you gotta flip up outta there! Sí, sí, sí.
02:02
Store Employee
Hey, listen, be careful now, Papi. That phone is no cheapy cheapy. That phone 1,500 pesos, Papi. It's a lot of money, Papi, okay? We set you up with a little payment plan, okay?
02:14
Customer
I think I'll just pay full price, if that's okay.
02:18
Ernesto
Ah, he want to pay full price! That's okay, Papi. That is the scenario of the best case.
02:25
Store Employee
He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price. He want to pay full price.
02:35
Store Employee
He want to pay - Oh! You want to pay full price.
02:38
Ernesto
That's amazing, Papi. I love you, Papi. Pay full price. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
02:44
Customer
We're kind of in a rush to get back to the desk.
02:46
Store Employee
Oh. The desk. Papi, you hiding those legs behind a desk, eh, Papi?
02:50
Ernesto
Papi, you cannot hide these legs behind a desk.
02:52
Store Employee
Beautiful legs. Oh, my God!
02:55
Ernesto
Look at this guy. Wow, Papi! Wow! Look at this guy. You see the batatas? You baseball player, Papi?
03:01
Customer
I'm sorry. What are batatas?
03:04
Store Employee
Uh, okay, so basically everybody have a thigh.
03:07
Customer
Mm-hmm.
03:07
Store Employee
Everybody have a knee, and everybody have a batata, right? That's batata. And this guy, he has - Hakuna-batatas.
03:15
Ernesto
Wow! Wow! Look at that batatas, Papi! It's a tremenda batata, Papi.
03:22
Store Employee
In Spanish, so you understand, Papi. Batata is your calf, but also it means sweet potato.
03:30
Customer
Just so you guys know, I'm like not interested romantically or anything like that.
03:35
Store Employee
Oh, Papa, we're not gay. We're Dominican.
03:39
Ernesto
Papi, let me tell you. Let me tell you something, Papi. We are not gay. But if we were... ...this is not what we like. You're not my type, Papi, I love women, we love women. We love women. We are just not allowed to talk to them. Yeah, you know, because in Dominican Republic, we have a saying. The saying goes, "If I talk to another woman in real life or a dream, my wife gonna hit me with a baseball bat, and my girlfriend gonna kill me."
04:11
Ernesto
That - That's a common saying? Oh, everybody say it, Papi. Everybody say it. Everybody say it, Papi. Everybody.
04:16
Customer
Sorry. Can I just get my phone?
04:19
Store Employee
Ah, ¿tú sabes lo que es el problema, Papi? The phone that you want, we don't have it. We never had it. But I have something better for you, Papi. Our wife have two sisters. One for you and one for you.
04:28
Store Employee
Oh! Vamos, vamos, vamos! ¿Qué quieres, Papi?
04:32
Ernesto
You good. Báilale, báilale, báilale. Báilale, báilale.