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Weekend Update: The Couple You Can't Believe Are Together

Saturday Night Live 2024 Season 50 Episode 5

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

An excitable fitness instructor and his soft-spoken academic girlfriend explain their unlikely romance, with enthusiastic interruptions from her biggest fan.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

After noting some unexpected celebrity pairings, Colin Jost welcomes Grant and Alyssa to Weekend Update. Grant loudly recounts meeting Alyssa at a nightclub, where she was absorbed in an animated show on her phone. Her quiet replies make their contrasting personalities even more apparent.

Alyssa describes her graduate studies and reads a poem, while Grant responds to her literary imagery with the enthusiasm of a concert hype man. He proudly celebrates her interests and her fierce defense of him, leaving Jost with a clearer sense of why the pair work together.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Highly quotable.

I'm getting my master's in 18th century graveyards.

Where did that old man come from, Colin?

Nice to meet you, Ephemeral.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

ScriptEnglish · 23 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:00
Colin Jost
From Lana Del Rey marrying an alligator guide to Bella Hadid dating a cowboy, I can't help but notice there are some pretty unlikely couples popping up these days. Here to comment, are Grant and Alyssa a couple you can't believe are together? Oh wow, yeah, so I can already see you're a pretty unlikely couple.
00:37
Grant
Oh man, opposites attract, man!
00:39
Alyssa
What is this, bro? Like magnets, for example.
00:45
Colin Jost
Cool, so how did you guys meet?
00:48
Grant
Oh, we met at the club, Colin! It was track night at Club Sweat and I walk in and I see the finest thing I've ever seen in my life And she's sitting at the bar watching Steven Universe on her phone So I walk up and I say
01:03
Grant
Who are you?
01:06
Alyssa
And I said like hi, I'm Alyssa
01:11
Grant
Yeah, and I said nice to meet you
01:24
Colin Jost
That's really amazing, yeah. So, I've heard a lot from you, Grant. I would love to hear more, or perhaps exclusively from Alyssa. What-what do you do for work?
01:35
Alyssa
Uh, I'm a student at Barnard. I'm getting my master's in 18th-century graveyards.
01:40
Grant
As for me, I teach a SoulCycle class on the tarmac at LaGloria, baby. Yeah, but-but my baby, she's just being modest right now. She also a poet. Come on, baby, give him a little taste of what you do.
01:59
Alyssa
the celadon waves lap against the lighthouse softly as if they're dreaming of another life
02:08
Grant
then what baby then what tell them what happens after that
02:15
Alyssa
the old man watches the hourglass
02:17
Grant
oh damn oh damn where did that old man come from
02:21
Alyssa
and she was ephemeral
02:30
Grant
yeah nice to meet you ephemeral
02:34
Grant
Oh, man. And you know what else I love about my baby, bro, is that she is mind-protective, Colin.
02:40
Colin Jost
Wow. Really?
02:41
Grant
Oh, hell, yeah. One time, this girl came up on me in the club, talking crazy, feeling up on me. And what did you say, baby? What'd you say?
02:49
Alyssa
Uh, I said, uh, did you buy that fake booty on Timu, you dusty bitch?
02:58
Colin Jost
The couple, you cannot believe are together, everyone. For Weekend Update, I'm Colin Jones.
03:06
Speaker 1
I'm Michael Che. Good night!