Trick-or-Treat with Fran Drescher

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:07
   

   Homeowner/Wife

   Oh, my goodness. Look at this.

2. 00:09
   

   Homeowner/Husband

   Don't you all look so cute?

3. 00:12
   

   Homeowner/Wife

   I think we might have to break out the king-size bars for this bunch.

4. 00:16
   

   Fran Drescher

   Kids, wait! You're about to...

5. 00:21
   

   Homeowner/Wife

   Who are you?

6. 00:22
   

   Fran Drescher

   Fran Drescher,

7. 00:32
   

   Homeowner/Wife

   what are you doing here?

8. 00:34
   

   Fran Drescher

   I'm here to teach you how to do Halloween during a strike.

9. 00:39
   

   Homeowner/Wife

   Oh, that's right. Since the actors are on strike, the Guild asks members not to wear costumes based on movies or TV characters.

10. 00:46
    

    Fran Drescher

    exactly because then we'd be promoting the companies we're striking against which makes all of these children a bunch of adorable scabs run home and change kids before it's too late Wow now that was a close one

11. 01:07
    

    Homeowner/Husband

    is it really that big a deal

12. 01:10
    

    Fran Drescher

    well you've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that when you're dressed up as sloth from the Goonies?

13. 01:17
    

    Homeowner/Husband

    I'm not dressed as sloth. I'm just holding a baby Ruth.

14. 01:21
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    Are there any costumes that are okay?

15. 01:23
    

    Fran Drescher

    I'm glad you asked. There are many great characters you can still be for Halloween. For example, Harry Potter as described only in the book.

16. 01:36

    Speaker 1

    I look just a little bit off and that's a good thing.

17. 01:42
    

    Fran Drescher

    or how about minor characters from the bible who have not appeared in any film adaptation

18. 01:51
    

    Trick-or-Treater (Zoheth Costume)

    i'm zohat son of ishi who forget ben zohat

19. 01:58
    

    Fran Drescher

    see who needs iron man when you have zohat son of ishi who forget ben zohat

20. 02:06
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    yeah these kids don't look happy

21. 02:08
    

    Fran Drescher

    i know it's scary what the movie studios are doing to our children isn't it that's why we've been picketing for a hundred days

22. 02:18
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    that must be exhausting

23. 02:20
    

    Fran Drescher

    hey did you just call me exhausting

24. 02:22
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    no

25. 02:23
    

    Fran Drescher

    well a lot of people have okay back to costumes unfortunately this year you can't be yoda but you can be hoda

26. 02:35

    Speaker 2

    the wig is fair

27. 02:48
    

    Homeowner/Husband

    wait why is that one okay isn't she on tv

28. 02:50
    

    Fran Drescher

    well daytime and reality tv are okay which means that you're dressed fine because your dress is one of the perverts from to catch a predator

29. 03:01
    

    Homeowner/Husband

    this is just my regular outfit

30. 03:03
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    what if people already bought a costume before the strike

31. 03:07
    

    Fran Drescher

    good question with small adjustments many costumes can be strike friendly for example say you're dressed as Wolverine just drop the claws and voila now you're any gay guy over 15 you're welcome or say you're dressed as Mario all you have to do is put on a chef's hat and now you're the guy from the pizza box

32. 03:40

    Speaker 3

    It's-a me, the guy from the pizza box.

33. 03:45

    Speaker 2

    Ms. Drescher, how can I help to understand something so complicated? I'm just a little kid.

34. 03:52
    

    Fran Drescher

    Well, Hoda, I think I can explain in terms even a drunk child can understand. Negotiating with the studios is a lot like trick-or-treating. You know how you go to the biggest house on the block and all the lights are off and they're pretending they're not home but you can see them through the window eating KitKat bars dozens of KitKat bars billions of KitKat bars record numbers of KitKat bars all us actors are saying is break me off a piece of that KitKat bar

35. 04:35
    

    Homeowner/Wife

    wow when you put it like that it makes a lot of sense

36. 04:43
    

    Fran Drescher

    thank you love your costume by the way kevin bacon's pedophile character from 2004's the woodsman

37. 04:51
    

    Homeowner/Husband

    i'm not walter

38. 04:54
    

    Fran Drescher

    you know his name i have one more costume idea she's a strong confident woman who dominated the summer and is an inspiration to girls everywhere.

39. 05:07

    Barbie.

40. 05:07
    

    Fran Drescher

    Nope, the nanny.

41. 05:10

    Wait, isn't the nanny intellectual property owned by the studios?

42. 05:18
    

    Fran Drescher

    Oh, I wouldn't call her intellectual.