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Cut for Time: Holiday Gig

Saturday Night Live2019Season 45
Saturday Night LiveSNL
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

At a Hudson Valley lodge's Hanukkah jam, bandleader Treece Henderson keeps interrupting the set to pressure his keytar-playing roommate into seeing a doctor.

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Community rating

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The premise

Here’s the bit.

Treece Henderson and his trio are booked for a holiday jam at an upstate lodge on the first night of Hanukkah, but between his cheerful stage patter and a nonsense funk number Treece cannot stop fretting about a health problem his keytar-playing roommate Spencer refuses to discuss. He airs the worry to the audience, asks them to help persuade Spencer to see a doctor, and trades low blows about each other's secrets while their clarinetist Brad stands awkwardly between them. When Spencer takes a phone call mid-song, he learns that Treece has gone behind his back and handed his doctor a sample taken while he slept. The confrontation ends with an unexpectedly cheerful health update, a fresh worry about the bed sheets, and the band launching back into the holiday song.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I thought you were feeling pain from that physical problem you've been having.

You were screaming in agony this morning in the bathroom.

You sent my roommate into my bedroom while I'm asleep to take some of my personal water?

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Cut for time from the December 21, 2019 episode hosted by Eddie Murphy; NBC posted it online on December 22, 2019.

ScriptEnglish · 53 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:01

    Treece Henderson

    -♪ Shoo boo boo doo boo doo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Thank you. Thank you very much. Hello, Mohonk Valley. So great to be invited back upstate to the Pine River Lodge for their holiday jam. I'm Treece Henderson, and we are the Treece Henderson Trio.

  2. 00:22

    Treece Henderson

    We puttin' the funk back in Mohonk.

  3. 00:26

    Spencer

    That's right, baby. That's right.

  4. 00:29

    Treece Henderson

    We have a very exciting night of music planned for you. And tonight marks the first night of Hanukkah. The Festival of Lights.

  5. 00:36

    Spencer

    I love lights, baby.

  6. 00:37

    Treece Henderson

    Yes, we all do. Now, before we get started, could I get a pump of Jurgens? Just one small squirt of Juergens lotion. The air is very dry, and my hands are chapped. Is there Juergens? Anyone? Surely someone in the audience has some kind of emoluments? Anyone? It could be Burt's Bees or Vaseline's. No? Any of you? So, no lotions. I've asked ten times, and I'm treated to silence. Thank you very much. Let's hit it. Drain on the tweed, drain on the twat. Take a look at the lockers that put sour cream on top. I Ladies and gentlemen, I would not be standing here without the incredible talent that you see behind me. Mr. Brad Dates on jazz clarinets.

  7. 01:34

    Treece Henderson

    Brad, you're Jewish, right?

  8. 01:36

    Brad Dates

    I'm a secular humanist, Drees.

  9. 01:43

    Treece Henderson

    Oh, got it. And sitting in with us tonight, a dear friend and great roommate, Mr. Spencer Newcherries. Are you Jewish?

  10. 01:52

    Spencer

    Aw, man, my gym is uncut. Aw, Aw, yeah. Ow!

  11. 02:02

    Treece Henderson

    on Are you okay? Are you in pain?

  12. 02:06

    Spencer

    What? No, I was just feeling the music, Treece.

  13. 02:09

    Treece Henderson

    Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were feeling pain from that physical problem you've been having.

  14. 02:14

    Spencer

    Oh, I don't know if we gonna talk about that right now. You know, the fans don't want to hear about that, Treece, baby.

  15. 02:18

    Treece Henderson

    But is it still going on? Have you seen a doctor?

  16. 02:22

    Spencer

    I will when I get some time, bruh.

  17. 02:24

    Treece Henderson

    What? I think the time is now. That should not be happening on a daily basis.

  18. 02:30

    Brad Dates

    -"Boundaries, Treece. He doesn't want to talk about it."

  19. 02:32

    Treece Henderson

    -"But this is his house."

  20. 02:34

    Spencer

    -"Stop it, Treece. I'm a grown-ass man."

  21. 02:36

    Treece Henderson

    -"Well, blood shouldn't be coming out of there, ever."

  22. 02:41

    Treece Henderson

    Manora, where? Manora, where? One candle lit, now stick 24 in there. Is everybody tonight?

  23. 02:52

    Brad Dates

    -"Worry." -"You're a little bit worried, but don't worry. We will light the menorah at midnight."

  24. 02:59

    Treece Henderson

    Actually, you light it at sundown, but no, not that. We're worried about Mr. New Cherry's health issue. We're imagining the worst.

  25. 03:08

    Spencer

    Now, see there, Treece, you done started these damn rumors, man.

  26. 03:11

    Treece Henderson

    It is not a rumor. You were screaming in agony this morning in the bathroom. I mean, is it a kidney stone, maybe? We don't know what it is because he won't go to the doctor.

  27. 03:22

    Spencer

    Treece, keep your eyes on your own paper, baby.

  28. 03:25

    Treece Henderson

    I curl.

  29. 03:26

    Spencer

    Hey, Treece, drop it, unless you want me to tell people about them bobby pins you wear up in your head and shit.

  30. 03:31

    Treece Henderson

    Well, that's just so I can achieve the proper curls.

  31. 03:34

    Treece Henderson

    Hit it! Hanukkah this, Hanukkah that. It's getting cold out. Put on your Hanukkah hat.

  32. 03:44

    Treece Henderson

    We hope everyone is enjoying the show. I'm not, because of a friend's stubbornness.

  33. 03:49

    Spencer

    Treece, I swear.

  34. 03:51

    Spencer

    Hold on a second. I got a call. Hello? Yes, this is Mr. Newcherry's Dr. Bivins. No, I'm fine. Why do you ask? Treece called you? He sent you a sample of what? A sample from who? From me? Well, how'd he get that? Uh-oh. You told him to drain my what from my where? In the night?

  35. 04:18

    Treece Henderson

    Well, it was not fun for me. I'm surprised that you didn't wake up. I had to gather it. There was a vociferous amount.

  36. 04:25

    Spencer

    -"Oh, God. Man, I ain't never coming to see you again. You sent my roommate into my bedroom while I'm asleep to take some of my personal water? Ow!" -♪

  37. 04:35

    Treece Henderson

    McAfee's cool, McAfee's hot That oil lasted longer than they initially thought

  38. 04:42

    Treece Henderson

    Now, what is your plan? What happens next?

  39. 04:46

    Spencer

    -"Come here a second. I'm gonna tell you in private, okay? Everything is fine. And I don't have it anymore, baby. Why you putting that mic up in my face?

  40. 04:54

    Treece Henderson

    Oh, because I wanted to share your good news. So what happened?

  41. 04:58

    Spencer

    I passed it in my sleep.

  42. 05:00

    Treece Henderson

    On my pull-out bed?

  43. 05:01

    Spencer

    Yeah, stop worrying about it.

  44. 05:02

    Treece Henderson

    But my new Koyuchi sheets!

  45. 05:04

    Spencer

    Well, what about your new Koyuchi sheets?

  46. 05:06

    Treece Henderson

    Well, did you put them in to soak?

  47. 05:08

    Spencer

    No, I just put the bed back together.

  48. 05:10

    Treece Henderson

    Oh! Koyuchi baby blue Koyuchi sheets!

  49. 05:13

    Spencer

    There's a hell of them Koyuchi sheets!

  50. 05:15

    Brad Dates

    Treece, he should be happy. He's feeling better.

  51. 05:17

    Treece Henderson

    I'll be happy when I get some new Koyuchi sheets!

  52. 05:20

    Treece Henderson

    He grew for hers, he grew for his, let's put a dreidel on top of the Christmas tree.

  53. 05:30

    Treece Henderson

    Thank you!

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