You're tuned to the good stuff
Sticky Bun
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Two upbeat trainers put three new Sticky Bun hires through the final stage of their training, a role-play with a hired actress playing the customer. Scott takes the register first and, told to make a personal connection, keeps asking intrusive and wildly inappropriate questions. Jackie takes over, knows the handbook by heart, but panics, announces the shop is closing for Christmas and then insults the food. The trainers coach each of them to simply ask how the customer's day is going, which only produces more awkward questions. Kat finally gets the register and handles the order smoothly until a friendly anecdote about a former teacher turns grim, and the trainers call a halt.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Sticky Bun and a cold cow piss coming up.
Sophomore year, the janitor found her dead in her car.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Octavia Spencer hosted this episode of Saturday Night Live, with Father John Misty as musical guest.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Trainer
Okay, guys, it's the last phase of your training. After this, you'll be ready to start working shifts at Sticky Bun. Holla! So, today, we'll be doing mock customer transactions to get a feel for a typical shift.
- 00:14
Trainer
This is Kelsey, the actress who will be playing our customer. Anything we might have seen you in, Kelsey?
- 00:19
Kelsey
Um, let me think. No.
- 00:21
Trainer
Cool. All right. Scott, how about you take the register, Jackie on prep, and Kat on pickup counter?
- 00:28
Trainer
Alright. Just use the stuff we went over in the handbook, okay? You're gonna be fine. You ready, Scott?
- 00:34
Scott
Hell, yeah!
- 00:35
Trainer
Ah, that's what I like to hear, bud. Go for it.
- 00:38
Kelsey
Hi, there.
- 00:39
Scott
Hi. Welcome to Sticky Bun. Will you eat?
- 00:45
Kelsey
What?
- 00:46
Trainer
Hey, Scott, don't start like that. Remember, greet the customer and try to make a personal connection. Ask them how their day's going, how they're doing. You know, something that shows you care.
- 00:56
Scott
Right. Hi, welcome to Sticky Bun. Are both your parents still alive?
- 01:01
Kelsey
I'm sorry?
- 01:04
Trainer
Try a different question, Scott.
- 01:06
Scott
Hi, welcome to Sticky Bun. How old were you when you first lost your virginity?
- 01:13
Trainer
Hey, Scott, forget the question, bud. Just say something nice and take her order.
- 01:18
Scott
Hi, welcome to Sticky Bun. Merry Christmas. Will you eat?
- 01:22
Trainer
All right, yeah, you know, it's got... Why don't you take a breather? Let's will switch it up. Jackie, you want to give register a shot?
- 01:29
Jackie
Yes, sir, I do. I know that manual front to back, and I've been practicing in my mirror all week.
- 01:35
Trainer
Hey, now, that's a Sticky Bun attitude. Go for it.
- 01:39
Kelsey
Hi, there.
- 01:41
Jackie
Go away. We're closed. Attention, Sticky Bun customers. We are closing early for the Christmas holiday.
- 01:48
Trainer
No, guys, guys, it's not Christmas. And, Jackie, we are not closed.
- 01:52
Jackie
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I panicked. It's different when talking to a real person and not myself in the mirror.
- 01:58
Trainer
Well, that's why we do this, all right? Just start again, please.
- 02:01
Jackie
Hey, lady, will you eat?
- 02:03
Kelsey
Um, uh, what do you recommend on the menu?
- 02:06
Jackie
I don't eat here. This food is trash.
- 02:08
Trainer
Ooh, Jackie, you know what? Don't tell customers our food is trash. Just remember, personal connection, all right? Ask her a question.
- 02:14
Jackie
Right, right, okay. Hi, welcome to Sticky Bun. Do you like being white?
- 02:22
Kelsey
Sorry, should I answer that?
- 02:23
Trainer
Nope, please don't, actually. Why is this friendly question throwing everyone off? You know, just ask her how her day's going.
- 02:29
Jackie
Well, I know the answer. Not good. She's alone at Sticky Bun on Christmas.
- 02:34
Trainer
You know what? How about we give Kat a shot at the register? And things to remember: we're open, the food isn't trash, and it's not Christmas.
- 02:42
Kat
Welcome to Sticky Bun. Will you eat?
- 02:46
Kelsey
Yeah, can I have a classic Sticky Bun and a milk?
- 02:49
Jackie
Sticky Bun and a cold cow piss coming up.
- 02:53
Kat
Okay, name for the order?
- 02:55
Kelsey
Kelsey.
- 02:56
Kat
Oh, wow. I had a teacher named Miss Kelsey.
- 02:59
Trainer
Nice, Kat.
- 03:00
Kat
Yeah. Sophomore year, the janitor found her dead in her car. That'll be $5.15, please.
- 03:07
Jackie
One Sticky Bun and a cold cow piss for Kelsey.
- 03:11
Kelsey
Thank you.
- 03:12
Scott
You're welcome. I love you.
- 03:14
Trainer
All right, let's cut it there. We did it! And, Kelsey, nice perk here. You can eat that Sticky Bun if you want.
- 03:24
Kelsey
No, thank you.
- 03:24
Trainer
All right, so lots to unpack here. First, Scott, don't tell customers you love them.
- 03:29
Scott
Do you have a pen and paper?
- 03:32
Trainer
You shouldn't have to write that down.
- 03:34
Trainer
Jackie, please don't refer to the milk as cow piss.
- 03:37
Jackie
Sorry, that's what we call it in my house.
- 03:40
Trainer
And Kat, don't tell customers stories about dead people.
- 03:43
Kat
I mean, I'll try.
- 03:44
Trainer
Nope, that's required. Okay, oh, guys, and let's do "Can I take your order?" instead of "Will you eat?"
- 03:51
Scott
Oh. So, we have to know, are we Sticky Bun material?
- 03:57
Trainer
Well, normally, we'd recommend another week of training, at least. But this is an airport, so grab a time card and get to work.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
