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Cut for Time: Hallmark Channel Christmas Promo
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
An announcer pitches the network's December slate of 21 original movies, made by the company behind one-line greeting cards, and walks through the highlights. In Yes, Santa, a woman who quits the city to run her grandmother's Christmas tree farm falls for her high school sweetheart, who turns out to be a young Santa Claus, and decides her workaholic fiancé had it coming. In Kitchen Christmas Wish, a single mother and struggling baker ends up trapped inside a snow globe after a wish goes wrong, leaving her rescue to a co-worker the film never bothers to develop and who repeats one catchphrase throughout. The promo then boasts of half-familiar stars, a single month of filming in Ottawa and a gazebo that appears in everything, before previewing an ice-skating romance in which an amnesiac skater accidentally becomes a princess and is proposed to by Prince Santa, played by the same Canadian actor, who the announcer notes did two of these films without pay. It closes by declaring the season Hallmark's Super Bowl.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
From the people who bring you one-sentence greeting cards comes 21 full-length original Christmas movies coming this December.
It's quantity over quality, people, and we are just blasting your ass with these.
Hallmark, this is our Super Bowl.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Cut for time from the December 9, 2017 episode hosted by James Franco; NBC released it online on December 21, 2017.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Speaker 1
Christmas is almost here, and on the Hallmark Channel, we won't let you forget it with our Countdown to Christmas. From the people who bring you one-sentence greeting cards comes 21 full-length original Christmas movies coming this December. Lydia leaves her big city job to run her grandmother's Christmas tree farm and sparks fly when she crosses paths with her high school sweetheart. The only catch, he's young Santa.
- 00:25
Young Santa
Is that your fiancé who lives in the city?
- 00:31
Speaker 2
Come on, come on, pick up.
- 00:33
It's either me or Christmas, Lydia.
- 00:37
Lydia
He works too much, so it's okay if I cheat on him.
- 00:41
Speaker 1
Jessica Normal and Canadian handsome Chris Bairstick star in Yes, Santa. It's quantity over quality, people, and we are just blasting your ass with these. Michelle is a single mother and struggling baker whose Christmas wish goes horribly wrong. Now she's trapped in a snow globe and the only person who can get her out before Christmas is her black co-worker with no backstory.
- 01:06
Michelle
Marcus, Marcus, I'm in here.
- 01:08
Marcus
Now, what in the world?
- 01:11
Speaker 1
He says that same line four separate times. It's Kitchen Christmas Wish. Whether she's that girl from Party of Five or he's that guy from Desperate Housewives, you'll be asking, wait, how do I know that actor? All filmed during one month in Ottawa. Can you spot the sets we use multiple times? Hint, hint. The Gazebo. Sarah qualified for the Kingdom's Christmas Ice Skating Prize. But when she hits her head and gets amnesia, she forgets her ice skating routine and accidentally becomes a princess, starring a once-famous, now very Christian actress, Meredith DeVoe Ellis. And Chris Bearstick. We got him to be in two of these for no pay.
- 01:51
Sarah
You look familiar. Did I know you before I hit my head?
- 01:55
Prince Santa
I'm the prince. Prince, and you will be my princess.
- 02:00
Sarah
Another proposal.
- 02:03
Prince Santa
Rudolph, will you bring my sleigh around?
- 02:06
Sarah
What?
- 02:06
Speaker 1
It's Prince Santa. Hallmark, this is our Super Bowl.
- 02:11
Christmas, Christmas, Santa Christmas.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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