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Christopher Walken's Celebrity Psychic Friends Network
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a late-night infomercial, Christopher Walken invites viewers to phone his psychic network for advice on money, love and danger, but the red phone on his coffee table never rings. He brings out his celebrity psychic friends: Todd Bridges, who cheerfully recounts the troubled night that led him to the hotline, and a twitchy Crispin Glover. As the silence drags on, Walken grows more unsettling, listing other scandal-linked celebrities who would like to visit, insisting the guests only need your address, and suggesting they could already be waiting in your driveway. Glover abruptly snaps at no one in particular, and Walken is left pleading with Todd not to go off to a viewer's house on his own.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You could be in grave danger, and I can help you as your psychic friend.
I'd like to be your soulmate and have a key to your house.
Look, you're wasting time. We could be in your driveway by now.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This was the first time Jay Mohr played Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live, in his first episode as a featured player. The sketch returned once more on November 19, 1994.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:09
It's time for Christopher Walken's Celebrity Psychic Friends Network.
- 00:16
Christopher Walken
Hello, I'm Christopher Walken. And welcome to Christopher Walken's Celebrity Psychic Friends Network. If you would like to be my psychic friend, call this number now. I can tell you about money, success, love, and romance, or just hang out with you. you. All it takes is a phone and an open mind. No one will know. No one. I can tell you things about yourself, things you don't know. Why aren't you calling? You could be in grave danger and I can help you as your psychic friend. While we're waiting for your call, I'd like to introduce my first guest it's someone you already know he was the star of a television series different strokes now he's my psychic friend it's Todd Bridges
- 01:31
Todd Bridges
hi Hi, Christopher it's great to be here
- 01:39
Christopher Walken
I know Todd Todd, tell us how you became a psychic friend
- 01:48
Todd Bridges
well Christopher I had just killed someone and I was high crack and then I called the psychic friends Network and you let me know I was in grave danger
- 01:58
Christopher Walken
oh that's wonderful Todd we're very very proud of you if you'd like to talk to Todd and be his psychic friend call now Todd could come to your house and advise you but he can't unless you call why Why aren't you calling Todd maybe you're not at home call anyway by the time you get home he could be there waiting for you my next guest you know he was in the movie back to the future it's Crispin Glover
- 02:40
Crispin Glover
hey Hey, you it's great to be here
- 02:51
Christopher Walken
Crispin crispin how did you become a psychic friend
- 02:59
Crispin Glover
well christopher i'm not really good at confrontations so i called the psychic network and you told me i was in grave danger
- 03:16
Christopher Walken
that's nice crispin if you'd like to know about future success money romance or grave danger Call us. Do it. No one will know. I I don't don't understand why you're not calling.
- 03:39
Todd Bridges
Well, Chris, maybe the audience should know that we're not the only members of the Psychic Friends Network.
- 03:44
Christopher Walken
Todd's right. There are others who can come to your house, like Rick James, the guy who attacked Monica Seles, and Sean Young. Todd Todd, Crispin, Rick, and Sean, and the guy who attacked Monica Seles want to spend time with you at your house, but they can't do that unless you tell us where you live. So please, call now.
- 04:15
Todd Bridges
I'd like a key to your house.
- 04:17
Crispin Glover
I'd like to be your soulmate and have a key to your house.
- 04:25
Christopher Walken
We know. Call. Look, you're wasting time. We could be in your driveway by now. Me and Todd and Crispin waiting for you being your friend. Look Look, no one is calling. I'm upset.
- 04:49
Todd Bridges
I'll still come to your house.
- 04:50
Christopher Walken
Todd will still come to your house.
- 04:53
Crispin Glover
Hey, you, get your damn hands off me right now.
- 04:59
Todd Bridges
I'll go to your house.
- 05:01
Christopher Walken
Todd, don't go. Stay.
- 05:02
Todd Bridges
No, I want to go.
- 05:03
Christopher Walken
Don't go. Please. Don't go.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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