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The Farbers Meet The Coneheads
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Larry and Bobbi Farber invite the family next door over before dinner. Beldar, Prymaat and Connie unsettle their hosts with stiff manners, enormous appetites and strange explanations of ordinary objects. Larry tries joining in while Bobbi struggles to keep the evening tidy.
A game of Scrabble produces unfamiliar words and an increasingly shaky French cover story. When Larry demonstrates a salon hair dryer from his business, the Coneheads panic and escape through the window, leaving the Farbers to puzzle over what went wrong.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
We come from France.
We would enjoy consuming mass quantities of any substance you have to offer.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The Coneheads’ third SNL appearance aired with Jack Burns hosting and Santana as musical guest. John Belushi and Gilda Radner visibly struggle to keep straight faces after Jane Curtin’s awkward exit through the window.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Bobbi Farber
Barber.
- 00:03
Larry Farber
What?
- 00:03
Bobbi Farber
Did you use the guest towels? I mean, I just finished cleaning that bathroom. Our new neighbors will be over any minute.
- 00:09
Larry Farber
Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'll put out fresh ones.
- 00:11
Bobbi Farber
Oh, no, no, no. Now, what time did they say they were coming over?
- 00:14
Larry Farber
Yeah, I talked to them on the phone. I told them to come over for drinks about eight o'clock.
- 00:17
Bobbi Farber
Eight o'clock?
- 00:18
Larry Farber
Yeah.
- 00:18
Bobbi Farber
You better start the broiler or we won't have dinner till ten. Now, how many are coming?
- 00:22
Larry Farber
Well, I told the whole family. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, I believe, and their teenage daughter.
- 00:28
Bobbi Farber
Oh, well, what are their first
- 00:30
Larry Farber
Gee, I forgot to ask.
- 00:31
Bobbi Farber
Oh, Larry, you should...
- 00:32
Larry Farber
Oh, wait a minute. There they are.
- 00:34
Bobbi Farber
Okay.
- 00:34
Beldar Conehead
Greetings.
- 00:59
Larry Farber
Hi, how are ya? You can just call me the Farb.
- 01:07
Beldar Conehead
Hi, I'm Beldar. This is Primate and Connie. I trust we have arrived at the pre-designated time coordinates.
- 01:17
Bobbi Farber
Well, actually you're a bit early, but that's okay. Look, come on in and sit down.
- 01:21
Larry Farber
Just don't put your feet on the furniture. That's the only rule we have around here. here. Other than that, you can go crazy.
- 01:30
Larry Farber
Cohen, Cohen, is that spelled with an H?
- 01:33
Beldar Conehead
Conehead. The name is Conehead. We come from France.
- 01:38
Bobbi Farber
Oh, France. Well, that explains it. So, you think you're going to like your new house?
- 01:49
Beldar Conehead
It will be more than adequate shelter.
- 01:51
Prymaat Conehead
It is also visually pleasing.
- 01:53
Bobbi Farber
Why was it glowing last night?
- 01:55
Larry Farber
Yeah, well, say, how about a drink?
- 01:58
what are you saying hi i want a drink
- 01:59
Beldar Conehead
most certainly we would enjoy consuming mass quantities of any substance you have to offer
- 02:03
Connie Conehead
yes i dig liquids
- 02:05
Bobbi Farber
oh well come on come on primate come with me the kitchen i just remodeled
- 02:10
Larry Farber
you're a very very attractive wife you have there she's quite a quite a
- 02:24
Larry Farber
Hey, uh, that's another rule we have around the Farber household. No smoking, you know, it's just something that bothers me.
- 02:40
Beldar Conehead
I will comply.
- 02:41
Larry Farber
Thank you. I mean, there's no smoking, no putting your feet on the table. I mean, other than that, you can go nuts here.
- 02:48
Connie Conehead
What is this cubicle object?
- 02:50
Larry Farber
Those are some pictures that we took on our trip to Disney World.
- 02:54
Connie Conehead
Disney World?
- 02:55
Larry Farber
Yes.
- 02:56
Beldar Conehead
A vast man-made construction which duplicates human psychosexual experiences through tension-releasing fantasy mechanisms.
- 03:03
Larry Farber
Yeah, that's me on the pirate ride here.
- 03:07
Connie Conehead
Similar to the Vaktorth pods of Remulak.
- 03:10
Larry Farber
Yeah, Remulak, what is that, a cough medicine?
- 03:12
Beldar Conehead
No, it's a small town in France.
- 03:15
Larry Farber
Ah, great. Well, I'd like to have one or two to be a semi-professional bartender.
- 03:24
Bobbi Farber
Ah, come on,
- 03:25
Larry Farber
I'd do it. I do it twice a year for the VFW.
- 03:30
Larry Farber
You people sure know how to suck it back, don't you? Where do you put it all, huh?
- 03:40
Bobbi Farber
Larry, Larry, Larry. Look, why don't you have some chips and dip? Enjoy yourself.
- 03:47
Larry Farber
Here, watch the table.
- 03:51
Bobbi Farber
Larry, stop it. Now, you remember what happened to me last year when I drank all that Kahlua and ate all those scallops.
- 04:03
Larry Farber
Oh, boy, did she get sick. And guess who had to clean it up? Did you ever see it? Scallops of Kahlua all over the bathroom floor. That was funny.
- 04:19
Bobbi Farber
Wow, uh, gee, away from dinner. Why don't we play a little Scrabble?
- 04:27
Beldar Conehead
Scrabble?
- 04:27
Larry Farber
Okay.
- 04:28
Beldar Conehead
Smell that off of paving roads.
- 04:29
Larry Farber
No, no, that's Scrabble. You know Scrabble? It's a game. Haven't you ever heard of Scrabble?
- 04:35
Beldar Conehead
Do you have an instruction manual?
- 04:36
Bobbi Farber
Oh, yes. One second.
- 04:39
Bobbi Farber
Yeah, we do. It's written right in here. There you go. Right there in the back.
- 04:55
Larry Farber
I'll take score, okay?
- 04:57
Bobbi Farber
You can score, Larry.
- 04:58
Larry Farber
I'll take some score here.
- 05:00
Larry Farber
You catch on pretty fast, you know.
- 05:02
Beldar Conehead
Let us commence.
- 05:03
Bobbi Farber
Okay.
- 05:04
Bobbi Farber
Oh, wait a minute. I have a word here. I'll go first. F-E-R-A, fresca.
- 05:15
Larry Farber
Holy moly. You can't use that.
- 05:18
Bobbi Farber
Why not?
- 05:19
Larry Farber
Because it's a soft drink.
- 05:21
Bobbi Farber
So what?
- 05:22
Beldar Conehead
Okay. S-E-B-F-A-R-G, SEPFARG.
- 05:34
Larry Farber
Hold it, hold it. Now, what's a SEPFARG?
- 05:39
Beldar Conehead
SEPFARG, one of the ten protoids, self-reproducing fuel source used in our early star cruisers.
- 05:45
Larry Farber
In France?
- 05:46
Beldar Conehead
Yes.
- 05:46
Larry Farber
Okay. How many you got there? One, two.
- 05:58
Larry Farber
Hey, maybe we shouldn't play this game if we keep using French words. I don't know.
- 06:03
Bobbi Farber
Right, Larry doesn't know French because he's a salesman.
- 06:06
Larry Farber
Hey, I'm not a salesman anymore, you know. I've got a little piece of the action now, you know. I don't know what your bag is, Beldar, but I'm doing pretty well right now in women's commercial hair dryers.
- 06:19
Hair dryers? Hair dryers?
- 06:20
Larry Farber
Oh, yeah. I distribute them on a wholesale level.
- 06:23
Larry Farber
I'll show them,
- 06:23
Bobbi Farber
Larry. Don't show them.
- 06:24
Larry Farber
Oh, yeah. Let me show them.
- 06:25
Bobbi Farber
Right. Larry is the best salesman in his district, really. This year, he's done incredibly well. I'm very proud of him.
- 06:31
Larry Farber
We call this one the farm. Right.
- 06:33
Bobbi Farber
Hair dryers. Do you think something bad in French?
- 07:00
Larry Farber
I don't know. I think.
- 07:01
Thank you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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