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Sports Organist at a Funeral
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Funeral director Mr. Ziegler assures the widow Mrs. Denton that her husband Herbert's short, dignified service will go to plan, apart from one snag: the regular organist is sick. The replacement, Harry Osborne, arrives late from a Knicks game that went to overtime, and Ziegler boasts that he plays all the hockey and basketball games at Madison Square Garden. Once his assistant Fletcher shows him to the organ, Osborne launches into a rousing stadium cue, and Ziegler has to stop him and demand something appropriate. His next attempt sounds like a pep rally, which Osborne explains was meant to cheer the mourners up. As Mrs. Denton complains that this is nothing like the dignified service in the brochure, the arena music keeps coming, until she declares she has heard enough, hauls Herbert's body out of the coffin to take him home, and the mourners answer the organ's charge fanfare by storming out of the chapel.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I'm sorry I'm late, but the Knicks went into overtime.
This isn't a pep rally. It's a funeral.
This is not dignified like your brochure said.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The organist is played by cameo guest Harry Osborne under his own name; SNL Archives lists this as his only appearance on the show.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:13
Mr. Ziegler ?
Mrs. Denton, I, in behalf of the Ziegler brothers, I just want to thank you for choosing us in your time of grief.
- 00:21
Mrs. Denton ?
You were the people that Herbert wanted.
- 00:24
Mr. Ziegler ?
Well, everything seems to be going to plan. There's just one small problem. Our regular organist is sick. But as soon as the replacement comes, then we'll get on with the program. Excuse me while I check.
- 00:39
Mr. Ziegler ?
Where Look, is this guy, anyway? He should be here any minute.
- 00:47
Fletcher ?
Well, I hope he's experienced in these matters.
- 00:50
Mr. Ziegler ?
Oh, oh, he's one of the best. He's the main guy in Madison Square Garden. He plays at all the hockey and basketball games.
- 00:57
Fletcher ?
Well, I wish he'd just get here.
- 00:59
Oh, here. Here. How are you doing? Come on.
- 01:02
Harry Osborne ?
Mr. Ziegler, I'm Harry Osborne, the organ player.
- 01:04
Mr. Ziegler ?
Fine, fine. Thank god you're here. I thought you'd never get here.
- 01:07
Harry Osborne ?
I'm sorry I'm late, but the Knicks went into overtime.
- 01:09
Mr. Ziegler ?
Fletcher, show him the organ. Let's get started.
- 01:15
Mr. Ziegler ?
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Denton. Now that the organist is here, we we can get on with the program. I might add that you've chosen a wonderful program, short yet dignified.
- 01:27
Mrs. Denton ?
Herbert wanted it that way.
- 01:29
What
- 01:39
Mr. Ziegler ?
Stop it! Stop are you doing, you fool?
- 01:42
Harry Osborne ?
What you said to get started.
- 01:44
Mr. Ziegler ?
Well, for crying out loud, this is a funeral. Play something appropriate.
- 01:50
Mr. Ziegler ?
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Denton. There seems to be some mix-up with the organist.
- 02:02
Mr. Ziegler ?
Wait a second. Wait a second. This isn't a pep rally. It's a funeral.
- 02:11
Harry Osborne ?
Well, I know, but I wanted to cheer the people up.
- 02:13
Mr. Ziegler ?
But they don't want to be cheered up. Play a nice, soft song.
- 02:19
Mrs. Denton ?
Mr. Ziegler, that man is disturbing me. I know that Herbert didn't want this. This is not dignified like your brochure said.
- 02:28
Mr. Ziegler ?
You're quite right. I'm so sorry. Please, I think I've straightened everything out. Don't worry. Please,
- 02:51
Mrs. Denton ?
I've heard enough, Mr. Ziegler, and I don't want Herbert to hear any more!
- 02:59
Mr. Ziegler ?
It's... Please, Mrs. Denton, it's all right.
- 03:04
Mrs. Denton ?
I've had it just about enough. I'm getting Herbert out of here, now!
- 03:09
Sir.
- 03:14
Charge! Charge!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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