You're tuned to the good stuff
Disaster Hut
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A small earthquake interrupts Fred and Carrie's morning, and Carrie realizes they have no emergency supplies at all. At Disaster Hut, a cheerful employee promises a kit tailored to their survival needs and opens with a menu of canned beans. Fred ends up with kidney beans after trying to switch to soup, while Carrie treats the questionnaire like a restaurant visit and orders sparkling rosé, quiche, pasta, avocado toast with greens and a lavender crème brûlée. The clerk reads her indulgent order back in full, then announces Fred's: a pile of kidney-bean cans. A desert-island question about which record to keep turns into a debate over Fleetwood Mac albums, a Clash triple album and a sound-effects LP, and Fred digs in over the noise an underinflated basketball makes. When a real aftershock hits, the three wait it out inside the shop and then calmly rate the sounds it produced.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Let's talk beans.
And for you, 60 cans of kidney beans.
Go out to a playground. You'll hear "ska-doink."
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:09
Fred ?
Whoa!
- 00:10
Carrie ?
Whoa, was that? That was an earthquake.
- 00:13
Fred ?
Was I screaming?
- 00:14
Carrie
Fred, we don't have an earthquake hit. We don't have canned goods or a bottle of water. Like, if the big one happened, what would we even do?
- 00:24
Disaster Hut Employee
Hey, welcome to Disaster Hut. So I'm just gonna ask you some basic questions to craft a customized disaster preparedness kit tailored exactly to your survival needs.
- 00:34
Carrie ?
Great, so this is good for earthquakes?
- 00:35
Disaster Hut Employee
Oh yeah, earthquakes, typhoons, tornadoes, super virus big landslides you name it we handle it let's talk beans beans yeah so we have fava kidney garbanzo navy pinto black cannellini and lima
- 00:49
Fred ?
kidney
- 00:50
Disaster Hut Employee
kidney great choice
- 00:52
Fred
uh could i just do like a variety of canned soups
- 00:54
Disaster Hut Employee
of course you can
- 00:55
Fred ?
so you can do like a variety i'll have soup
- 00:58
Disaster Hut Employee
i already checked kidney for you
- 01:00
Fred ?
all right so kidney beans
- 01:02
Carrie
you know what i'd love a sparkling
- 01:03
Disaster Hut Employee ?
Sparkling rosé.
- 01:04
Carrie ?
Sparkling rosé. And actually, what about a six pack of beer?
- 01:08
Disaster Hut Employee
Okay, so I have that for you. And oh, would you like a quiche Lorraine?
- 01:12
Carrie
Yeah, I'll do a fettuccine.
- 01:15
Disaster Hut Employee ?
Fettuccine.
- 01:15
Carrie
Some avocado toast.
- 01:16
Disaster Hut Employee
That comes with mixed greens, fruit, or house potatoes?
- 01:19
Carrie
I'll do the mixed greens. For dessert, I would just love like a creme brulee. Do you have that, or?
- 01:23
Disaster Hut Employee
We only have lavender creme brulees right now. The other ones are gone.
- 01:27
Carrie ?
That sounds really delicious.
- 01:28
Fred
I can't have any of that, correct?
- 01:30
Disaster Hut Employee
No.
- 01:30
Fred
Like, I shouldn't even attempt to talk you into taking my order.
- 01:34
Disaster Hut Employee
No. Well, I have your orders, because for you, I have a sparkling rosé, quiche Lorraine, fettuccine, avocado toast, mixed greens on the side with the house dressing, and to finish, a lavender creme brulee. And for you, 60 cans of kidney beans. Okay, now, desert island disc. Now, the odds that you're gonna end up in an island with your disaster preparedness kit and a record player very low, you will have fun with this one.
- 01:57
Carrie
Here's one idea. Please don't mark it down. Fleetwood Mac Rumors.
- 02:00
Disaster Hut Employee ?
That is so good. Okay.
- 02:01
Carrie
Don't write it down, because I might have listened to it too much already, which means that something like Fleetwood Mac, Fleetwood Mac might be a better choice.
- 02:09
Fred ?
Maybe I'll consider Sandinista.
- 02:11
Disaster Hut Employee ?
Triple album.
- 02:12
Fred ?
Triple album, the Clash album. Maybe.
- 02:13
Fred
Or we could do a sound effects record. You know, creaking door, or, you know, a basketball that's like not inflated all the way.
- 02:23
Disaster Hut Employee ?
Nothing has ever sounded like that.
- 02:25
Fred ?
When a basketball is disinflated a little bit.
- 02:28
Disaster Hut Employee ?
It doesn't go skatoink. Nothing ever goes skatoink.
- 02:31
Carrie ?
I love this argument.
- 02:32
Fred ?
It absolutely does.
- 02:33
No, where's the doink?
- 02:34
Fred
Go out to a playground. You'll hear skatoink.
- 02:36
Disaster Hut Employee ?
No, it's not skatoink.
- 02:37
Fred ?
Skatoink. Skatoink.
- 02:38
Disaster Hut Employee ?
There's a slap sound in there, too. There's no skatoink.
- 02:42
Fred
I think there isn't. That's why we should get this record.
- 02:44
Disaster Hut Employee ?
Great.
- 02:44
Carrie ?
You know what? I listen to Rihanna's anti all the time. I'll just do that.
- 02:47
Yeah. Oh. Whoa.
- 02:50
Carrie ?
That could be it.
- 02:51
Fred ?
That could be the big one.
- 03:01
Disaster Hut Employee ?
I like the echoey one.
- 03:03
Yeah. All right? Yeah.
- 03:04
Carrie ?
I like that, like, creaky gate.
- 03:06
Yeah.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Portlandia.
