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The Audition
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Denny Woodkin auditions for a sitcom with a speech set at an audition. His questions about a chair repeatedly draw answers from Norm and the other casting director, forcing him to start over. As the speech grows more confrontational, the panel struggles to work out which complaints are scripted and whether the performance has actually ended.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Can I use this chair?
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Dino Stamatopoulos
Writer
Brent Forrester
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Dino Stamatopoulos said the idea grew out of fake auditions he and friends performed after a production at Chicago’s Annoyance Theatre.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Casting Director
This way. It's Norm, the producer.
- 00:03
Denny Woodkin
Hi. I'm Denny Woodkin.
- 00:06
Oh.
- 00:06
Denny Woodkin
And the monologue that I'll be performing now is from the play entitled The Audition by Gavin Hollerwood.
- 00:13
Norm
Well, how apropos.
- 00:15
Oh. You can start any time.
- 00:18
Denny Woodkin
Okay. Can I use this chair?
- 00:25
Sure.
- 00:26
Denny Woodkin
Oh, no, I started it. That's part of the monologue.
- 00:31
Oh, God. Oh, I thought you were asking us to.
- 00:34
Denny Woodkin
No, no, I was doing it. Okay. Can I use this chair?
- 00:53
Yeah, it's fine.
- 00:53
Denny Woodkin
No, no, no. One to one.
- 00:57
I'm sorry,
- 00:58
Denny Woodkin
it's completely fine. Let me, I'll start again. Can I use this chair?
- 01:12
Denny Woodkin
Seriously, can I use it? I need it for the audition. Could somebody answer me? Jesus, talk to me.
- 01:39
Yeah, it's fine.
- 01:39
Denny Woodkin
No!
- 01:42
Okay, okay, okay. We'll get it this time.
- 01:46
Denny Woodkin
All right, can I start again?
- 01:47
Please do.
- 01:47
Denny Woodkin
Can I use this chair? Seriously, can I use it?
- 01:57
Denny Woodkin
Hello? I need it for the audition. Could somebody answer me?
- 02:06
Denny Woodkin
Jesus, talk to me. I'm a human being up here, for God's sake. Don't just look at each other. Answer me. Can I use it?
- 02:13
Yes.
- 02:14
Denny Woodkin
No!
- 02:17
Don't just look at each other? Exactly when we did it.
- 02:20
Denny Woodkin
Yes. It's a good play.
- 02:22
Yeah, I guess so.
- 02:24
Denny Woodkin
I mean, it comes from experience, from a real place.
- 02:27
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Start again.
- 02:31
Denny Woodkin
All right. can I use this chair seriously can I use it hello I need it for the audition could somebody answer me Jesus talk to me I mean I'm a human being up here for God's sakes don't just look at each other answer me can I use it you guys sit there you know you and your stupid designer time your dumbass glasses and ported bottled water, you know, sitting...
- 03:14
Denny Woodkin
sitting, looking down at the lowly actor on the stage, getting off on your power trip. Well, you know what? Fuck you. I don't need to be in your stupid, dumbass sitcom. It's not funny. You know what? I read... It's never gonna work, you know? Fuck you guys. Fuck you. Fuck...
- 03:31
Whoa. That was weird. What was it? I...
- 03:36
Denny Woodkin
And scene...
- 03:38
Oh, great!
- 03:39
Denny Woodkin
Let me start again. Can I use this chair?
- 03:47
Norm
No, kid, kid, kid. Seriously. Ken, we've seen enough. You got the goods.
- 03:51
Denny Woodkin
Really?
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
