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Sumbrella the New CSI Investigator
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a back alley where a dead man lies beside a dumpster, Detective Templeton is taking a statement from a shaken witness when he catches Sumbrella giving the corpse a manicure. She introduces herself as the new CSI investigator, cites her cosmetology training as her qualification, and claims the previous investigator quit to start a band in Idaho. The elderly police chief arrives and sides with her at every turn, accepting her rambling story about a backflip video and an R&B ringtone while scolding Templeton for raising his voice. Sumbrella reveals she has moved the body and redrawn the chalk outline in a Vitruvian Man pose, then stops the witness from going inside and grills her with an intrusive personal question. Breaking for lunch, she waves a cup of salmon and oatmeal soup under the witness's nose; the woman gags and drops a written confession and a gun, exposing herself as the killer. The chief has her arrested, takes Templeton's badge and gun, throws him off the force and praises Sumbrella as a true asset.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Owens quit. He moved back to Boise, Idaho to start a Smash Mouth cover band.
Ooh, my favorite, salmon in oatmeal soup.
You are a true asset to the force, Sumbrella.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Bruce Leddy
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Sumbrella's second sketch in the 2016 CW revival, following her courtroom debut as a stenographer in Episode 3.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Mrs. Witness
And then I heard a loud bang. I ran downstairs, and I saw this man lying here. It's horrible.
- 00:10
Detective Templeton
Well, you rest assured, ma'am. We're going to get to the bottom of this, okay? Okay. Go just check this chalk outline of this body here. What are you doing? This is an active crime scene.
- 00:21
Sumbrella
What? Don't mind me, Mr. Detective. This man needed a manicure bad.
- 00:26
Detective Templeton
Who are you?
- 00:28
Sumbrella
I'm Sunbrella. The new CSI investigator. And what, you don't think I'm qualified to do this? I got my own nine degree in cosmetology, thank you!
- 00:38
Detective Templeton
What does that have to do with police work? Where is Owens?
- 00:42
Sumbrella
Owens quit. He moved back to Boise, Idaho to start a Smash Mouth cover band.
- 00:46
Detective Templeton
What? I just saw him here this morning.
- 00:49
Sumbrella
Well, that's what I would have done. He actually went home sick.
- 00:53
Detective Templeton
Okay, why don't you just show me what happened to the guy?
- 00:56
Police Chief
Detective Templeton. What's with all the hullabaloo? We need some answers.
- 01:00
Detective Templeton
I know, sir. I was trying to get answers. She's new and...
- 01:03
Sumbrella
I was here! I saw the whole thing. I'll tell you exactly what happened.
- 01:09
Police Chief
Thank you.
- 01:11
Sumbrella
He was right here, watching a YouTube backflip tutorial taught by R&B singer Cisco. Ooh! I love Cisco! Thong song is my ringtone!
- 01:24
Detective Templeton
That is not what happened.
- 01:26
Police Chief
I mean, the story checks out with me. Please continue, Sunbrella.
- 01:30
Sumbrella
Thank you, Mr. Chief. Anyways, as I was saying, you know what? It doesn't matter what I was saying. That damn man is uglier.
- 01:40
Detective Templeton
What does that have to do with this investigation? Could we just see the chalk outline, please?
- 01:46
Police Chief
Templeton, no need to raise your voice. You are an officer of the law. Now control yourself.
- 01:51
Sumbrella
I'll show you the outline.
- 01:53
Detective Templeton
Thank you.
- 01:58
Detective Templeton
Sunbrella, what are you doing?
- 02:01
Sumbrella
See? The chalk outline. Take a gander. I made a couple of improvements. He was laying all crazy when I found him.
- 02:08
Detective Templeton
You cannot move a body and change...
- 02:11
Police Chief
Templeton, I swear it.
- 02:13
Detective Templeton
You are rooted in this investigation.
- 02:16
Mrs. Witness
Excuse me. It's awful cold out. Mind if I go inside?
- 02:20
Sumbrella
Oh, not so fast, Mrs. Witness. I got a couple of questions.
- 02:24
Detective Templeton
She cannot ask questions. She's not even...
- 02:26
Police Chief
Templeton, speak out of order again, and you will be passing out parking tickets in Jenkintown. Understand me?
- 02:34
Sumbrella
Mrs. Witness, I just have one question. Do you still get your period?
- 02:41
Police Chief
Shut your mouth, Hamilton. She's on to something.
- 02:43
Detective Templeton
I literally did not say a word.
- 02:46
Sumbrella
Hold that thought, Mrs. Witness. Look like it's time for my lunch break. Ooh, my favorite, salmon in oatmeal soup. Mmm! Muy deliciosos! You wanna taste?
- 03:02
Mrs. Witness
Yes! Oh!
- 03:03
Sumbrella
She no! See? Gone a confession wasn't a witness! She was a murderer this whole time! Umbrella solved the mystery. You're welcome, Justice. Clear as day.
- 03:16
Police Chief
Arrest that woman!
- 03:17
Detective Templeton
I'm on it, sir.
- 03:18
Police Chief
Not you, Templeton. Your badge and gun. Hand them over.
- 03:22
Detective Templeton
What? I didn't even do anything.
- 03:24
Police Chief
Exactly. What a sorry excuse for police work. You're off the force, Templeton. Now, get out of my sight!
- 03:31
Ah. She threw a body in the trash.
- 03:35
Sumbrella
Bye, Mr. Tip-a-tip.
- 03:37
Police Chief
Sunbrella, what would we do without you? You are a true asset to the Force, Sunbrella.
- 03:44
Sumbrella
Thank you!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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