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Shatner Thanksgiving
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Dressed as a pilgrim, William Shatner opens with a Star Trek-style voyage narration recasting the Mayflower's landing at Plymouth Rock as a mission into the unknown. He then steps forward with a halting, overwrought holiday message about everything he is grateful for, including a career he admits should have ended many pounds ago and the generosity the Indians showed the first pilgrims. That generosity, he explains, lives on at a Plymouth Chippewa casino, and the speech becomes an outright commercial: he strolls to a slot machine flanked by two women in feathered headdresses, works in a crude Klingon joke and a Priceline plug, and signs off by urging viewers to set phasers to win.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
To boldly go where no white man has gone before.
I'm thankful for my career, which logically should have ended 60, 70 pounds ago.
Set phasers to win.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Frank Caliendo played William Shatner several times during MADtv's eleventh season, including sketches in which Shatner coaches his Boston Legal co-stars on winning Emmys and speaks at a college graduation.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:07
William Shatner
Starting 1620, Plymouth Rock, the final frontier. This is the voyage of the sailing ship Mayflower, her five-month mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no white man has gone before.
- 00:25
William Shatner
Hello. I'm William Shatner. And at this time of year, I'm thankful, as all of you are thankful for so many things.
- 00:34
William Shatner
I'm thankful for my career, which logically should have ended 60, 70 pounds ago.
- 00:39
William Shatner
I'm also thankful for the generosity with which the Indians greeted the first pilgrims to beam down upon Plymouth Rock, where they shared their bounty of turkey and maize.
- 00:49
William Shatner
And that generosity can be found today at the Plymouth Chippewa Indian Casino.
- 00:54
William Shatner
Ladies, no limit blackjack and slots looser than a Klingon war bride's marital pouch.
- 01:00
William Shatner
Make your reservations online at Priceline. Priceline, shock, compare, save.
- 01:04
William Shatner
And the Chippewa Indian Casino set phasers to win.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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