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Antiques Roadshow: Candelabra
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Fenton Kenilworth examines a candelabra whose owner is already familiar with her grandmother’s disreputable history. His attempts to deliver a startling revelation keep giving way to her questions about its price. A promising valuation changes abruptly when she explains how she restored the family heirloom.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I'm so glad I had it cleaned.
How much is something worth when you've completely destroyed the value of it?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:14
Fenton Kenilworth
This This is Gertrude Wittenberg, who's brought with her a lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely objet. Look at this. This is absolutely delicious, I should say, Gertrude. Now, do you know anything about the history of this piece?
- 00:29
Gertrude
Well, I know that I've always treasured it. It was my grandmother's.
- 00:32
Fenton Kenilworth
Well, I should say that you should definitely treasure it, because in all my years of working with antiques, I've never seen one of these. You see, you see, this is...
- 00:40
Gertrude
It's a horse candelabra. My granny, she was a whoring granny. We called her Granny BJ. And what she would do is she would orally service Chinese rail workers. Terrific. So, how much is it worth?
- 00:59
Fenton Kenilworth
Yes, ma'am. You seem to have done your homework, don't you? Yes, you seem to know a lot about the horse candelabra, yes. But what I bet you you didn't know is how it worked. You see, the whore would set it in her windowsill at nighttime, and if one candle...
- 01:15
Gertrude
One candle was lit, that meant she was available. That's right. How much?
- 01:20
Fenton Kenilworth
Yes, that's absolutely correct, but if two candles...
- 01:23
Gertrude
If two candles were lit, that meant she was available and ready to orally service those Chinese rail workers. So what are we talking?
- 01:30
Fenton Kenilworth
Yes, yes, you do know about two, but I bet you didn't know that if all three candles were lit...
- 01:33
Gertrude
If all three are lit, that means she is ready to go to service any rail worker. Creed, nationality, flat on her back. so how much is it worth
- 01:43
Fenton Kenilworth
it's it's worth a lot let's see
- 01:46
Gertrude
five hundred dollars
- 01:48
Fenton Kenilworth
much more than that it's much more
- 01:49
Gertrude
well ten thousand
- 01:51
Fenton Kenilworth
no it's a it's a it's a lot more seeming you know everything about the horse candelabra why don't you know the price it's a lot more
- 01:57
Gertrude
fifty thousand
- 01:57
Fenton Kenilworth
no it's much more
- 01:58
Gertrude
a hundred thousand
- 01:59
Fenton Kenilworth
it's two hundred thousand dollars for the horse candelabra since you do
- 02:02
Gertrude
My goodness. I'm so glad I had it cleaned. It was a mess.
- 02:10
Fenton Kenilworth
You had it cleaned?
- 02:12
Gertrude
Oh, yeah, well, it was a mess. I took the plating off and I replated it.
- 02:17
Fenton Kenilworth
Oh, well, I'm so sorry you did that.
- 02:20
Gertrude
No, no, no, it was awful. It was tarnished.
- 02:22
Fenton Kenilworth
Oh, yes, yes, it was. And you see, the tarnish on the objet was the original patina. And without that, it severely reduces the value of the objet, you see, yes. Well,
- 02:33
Gertrude
severely. I mean, what, it's only worth $100,000 now?
- 02:35
Fenton Kenilworth
No, no, no. No, it's much less than that.
- 02:38
Gertrude
$50,000?
- 02:39
Fenton Kenilworth
Let me give you a hint. How much is something worth when you've completely destroyed the value of it?
- 02:43
Gertrude
672 $672.
- 02:48
Fenton Kenilworth
Well, that's it for the Antique Roadshow. Have a look out for us. We may be in your city next.
- 02:54
Gertrude
$100.
- 02:54
Fenton Kenilworth
I'm Fenton Kenilworth.
- 02:55
Gertrude
Son of a bitch, I'm talking to you. $100.
- 02:57
Fenton Kenilworth
Thank you. Thank you.
- 02:59
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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