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Antiques Roadshow: Dress
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At the Cleveland stop of Antiques Roadshow, Fenton Kenilworth sits down with Betsy Williams and the frilly pink gown her great-grandfather bought just after the Civil War. Studying the maker's label and the unusually broad shoulders, Fenton beams as he concludes that the dress was made for a man, and that Betsy's ancestor was a trailblazing drag act on the vaudeville circuit who supplemented his earnings by selling sex. Betsy furiously defends her family's honor and tells Fenton to keep the dress, but the moment he puts its auction value at more than $12,000 she grabs it back. Fenton signs off with some parting advice about who she should never lend it to.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
My great-granddaddy wasn't a drag queen.
Your great-grandfather was the first African-American drag performer in vaudeville.
I don't care. I don't want it. You can have it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The second of three separate Antiques Roadshow parodies in this episode, after the flask appraisal and before the candelabra.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:14
Fenton Kenilworth
Hello, Hello, I'm Fenton Kenilworth, and welcome back to Cleveland and the Antique Roadshow. Yes, yes, yes. I'm sitting here with Miss Betsy Williams, who's brought in a wonderful, wonderful piece for us. Now tell us, Betsy, how did you acquire this exquisite dress?
- 00:31
Betsy Williams
Okay, it's an heirloom, and according to family history, my great-grandfather purchased it right after the Civil War.
- 00:38
Fenton Kenilworth
Well, I should say that you're quite lucky to inherit such a wonderful piece. Look at it, it's lovely. Look at this, Betsy, but do you have any idea what this is?
- 00:47
Betsy Williams
No, I don't know. I just thought it was an old dress.
- 00:50
Fenton Kenilworth
No, no, no, Betsy, I want you to take a look at this label on the inside, see? This says Belmont Brothers, you see. And in the 19th century, the Belmont Brothers was a firm that was notorious for designing clothes exclusively for crossdressers.
- 01:03
Betsy Williams
What are you saying, that my great-grandfather wore women's clothes?
- 01:09
Fenton Kenilworth
Oh, yes, oh, yes. Now, observe the shoulders. See, they're much, much too wide for a real woman. you see but perfect for that of a man see your your great-grandfather you say purchase this dress for himself and I should say he does have superb taste
- 01:24
Betsy Williams
my great-granddaddy wasn't a drag queen
- 01:29
Fenton Kenilworth
oh no no no Betsy your great-grandfather was not a drag queen your your great-grandfather was the first african-american drag performer in vaudeville yes that's right but around those parts he was much better known by his stage name which was Carol Ann
- 01:42
Betsy Williams
no no No, no, no. My great-grandfather's name wasn't Carol A.
- 01:46
Fenton Kenilworth
Oh, yes, yes. You see, back in those days, the African-American performers were not earning as much as the vaudevillian performers, so your grandfather, like many other African-American vaudevillians, used to make extra money by whoring, you see. Yes, he would orally service Chinese rail workers. Now, I say Chinese rail workers...
- 02:05
Betsy Williams
No, no, no, don't tell me that my great-grandfather was a whore.
- 02:09
Fenton Kenilworth
Well, I should say, I suppose you don't want me to tell you how much this dress is worth either
- 02:15
Betsy Williams
i don't care i don't want it you can have it
- 02:18
Fenton Kenilworth
well thank you betsy because i should say that if you were to auction this dress today you would easily fetch upwards of twelve thousand dollars for it so thank you
- 02:27
Betsy Williams ?
twelve thousand dollars
- 02:28
Fenton Kenilworth ?
yes
- 02:28
Betsy Williams
well give me back my great granddaddy caroline's dress i mean i was i was thinking about giving it to you but i didn't say i was gonna give it to you
- 02:36
Fenton Kenilworth
well i should i should say betsy whatever you do with that dress don't loan it out to any cross-dressing vaudevillian
- 02:42
Fenton Kenilworth ?
horse. Horse! You won't see it ever again.
- 02:44
Fenton Kenilworth ?
Well done, Fenton. We'll be back shortly with another segment of the Antique Rojo.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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