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Son of Dolemite
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Cause I not only know karate, I know crazy.
Black Belt Jones don't run, Coco.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Framed as a call for the return of the good movies of the 1970s, the piece introduces Dolemite's son, a swaggering pimp who lounges at home with a sofa full of admiring white women. When a mustached sheriff and his deputy storm in, he deals with them violently, until his furious ex-girlfriend appears with his prized pimp cane and her new boyfriend, the martial-arts hero Black Belt Jones, and dares him to meet them at a warehouse in Pasadena that night. The second half stages that showdown with sung taunts, kung-fu brawling, a lovers' plea to flee to Boston, and a bruising fight that ends with the cane recovered and two tickets to Boston in hand.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Speaker 1
In the 1970s they used to make the good movies. You remember the good movies. Now they just make the bad movies because they have forgotten Dolomite. But Dolomite has not forgotten you. Come back Dolomite and make the good movies. Come back. Dolomite is back. Dolomite, Dolomite, Dolomite.
- 00:27
Son of Dolemite
White girls, white girls, come gather round Cause Dolomite's gonna show you how it's going down Like this brandy, it goes down with ease And so will I when you drop to your knees The
- 00:50
Speaker 2
Sheriff! It's the Sheriff! What? It's the
- 00:54
Speaker 3
Sheriff! We want the pimp cane! You
- 00:58
Son of Dolemite
crackers must be insane always
- 01:01
Son of Dolemite
want my Pimp Cane. Well, come on, mother suckers, whooping your ass will so be gravy. Cause I not only know karate, I
- 01:12
Speaker 3
know crazy. Let that negro talk to you like that. Kill that boy. Kill him dead. You know that, Negro, you killed my Now
- 01:42
Son of Dolemite
I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna kill your black ass with this. You
- 01:49
Son of Dolemite
come back in my house with an arrest so weak, I'll stick my foot between your pillowy white
- 01:57
Speaker 2
cheeks. I don't think so, Dolomite. Shove ass,
- 02:08
Speaker 2
Dolomite. You think you You think the man cause you got all these white girls. Well let me tell you something, I was your woman for six years. but now that's over now and I've got your pimp cane now and me and my new man now Black Belt Jones. That's
- 02:36
Speaker 2
right Dolemite, I'm sick of brothers like you reigning over the white women when you had a beautiful African princess like this for six years.
- 02:45
Speaker 2
That's right, can you dig it Dolemite? New man trick please you You know
- 02:52
Son of Dolemite
Dolemite is the man to bring you to your knees Bring your sexy chocolate body over here and give me back my pimp
- 03:00
Speaker 2
cane All you brothers are the same You don't love nobody but yourself You want your pimp cane back, you're gonna have to fight me Tonight At 8 o'clock At the warehouse In
- 03:23
Son of Dolemite
Pasadena Okay, you want to play rough and start a fight? Well, you better be ready. Here comes the Son
- 03:32
Speaker 1
of Dolomite. The Son of Dolomite meets Black Belt
- 03:38
Speaker 2
Jones. Dolomite, why'd you call me
- 03:50
Son of Dolemite
over? Look, nympho, I need to know who stole my
- 03:57
Speaker 2
pimp cane. Well, I'm not telling you
- 04:00
Son of Dolemite
nothing. oh yeah we'll try some of this don't the
- 04:17
Speaker 1
meanest karate guy of all the world, they have cane at a warehouse in Pasadena, it is
- 04:24
Speaker 2
hot tonight, don't do this we have the pimp cane now let's just run away to Boston to live our
- 04:32
Speaker 4
dreams Black Belt Jones don't run Coco and if I do run it's towards trouble not in the other way you brothers
- 04:43
Speaker 2
are the same you You don't love nobody but yourselves. This Tonight, 8 o'clock in
- 05:23
Speaker 1
Pasadena, Pasadena Tonight, 8 o'clock
- 05:30
Speaker 2
in Pasadena This is is no good. Your kisses taste like dirt to me. Not everybody could be as good as the famous Black
- 05:43
Speaker 4
Belt Jones. All I ask is that your kisses don't taste like
- 05:48
Son of Dolemite
dirt. It It must be 8 o'clock,
- 05:54
Speaker 2
because I'm here. It's not too late to take the pimp cane and run away to Boston to live our dreams of
- 06:01
Speaker 4
a better life. it was too late a long time ago let's
- 06:07
Son of Dolemite
go mother trucker touching scene it makes me cry I'll cross the mold will not make
- 06:15
Speaker 3
you die I ain't got to do nothing except watch these two Negroes kill each other then I'll go get the pimp cane while that's everything that's wrong with the world brothers beating on brothers while the white man waits to take off pimp canes she was right all along I've learned my lesson now it's
- 07:10
Son of Dolemite
time to teach these crackers a thing or two you you
- 07:15
Speaker 3
are gonna pay for killing my favorite deputy you're You're a
- 07:32
Son of Dolemite
pretty good fighter for a badass mother trucker here's your
- 07:36
Son of Dolemite
pimp cane Bell Jones is real good at kicking ass but now that I got my pimp came back Backup number one in class, here are two tickets to Boston.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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