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Ms. Swan's Thanksgiving Memories

Mad TV 1998 Season 4 Episode 9

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Asked what she is thankful for this Thanksgiving, Ms. Swan keeps drifting into salon gossip and a crush on Wesley Snipes.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

In one of the Thanksgiving episode's interludes, Ms. Swan shuffles onto a stage decorated with paper turkeys, carrying her handbag, while an off-screen voice asks her to tell the audience what she is thankful for. She begins by thanking the customers of the beauty salon where she works, except one stingy regular who never tips, and the thought sends her into a long piece of gossip about that customer's husband and his secretary that ends on a crude punchline. Reminded to stick to things she is grateful for, she thanks the interviewer, her health, milkshakes and Wesley Snipes, whom she adores. When the voice thanks her and tells her she can go, she turns the dismissal back on him, then pulls a tissue, insists that she says things she does not mean because she is a complex creature, and admits to a touch of holiday blues before turning to pat a paper turkey and gobble at it as the scene fades.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 1

Alex Borstein

Ms. Swan

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Okay, so you're thankful for your health, your job, and Wesley Snipes.

I am a complex creature, okay?

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

Dennis Rosenblatt
Director
Episode director per IMDb tt0930824

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Part of the November 21, 1998 Thanksgiving episode's runner in which several regular characters, including the Larkins, Jaq, Lida and Melina, Ms. Swan and Sally Kowalski, each tell the audience about the holiday.

ScriptEnglish · 15 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:04
Speaker 1
Okay, Ms. Swan, it's Thanksgiving. Please tell us what you're thankful for.
00:08
Ms. Swan
Yeah, okay.
00:11
Ms. Swan ?
Now?
00:12
Speaker 1
Could you do that for us now?
00:14
Ms. Swan
Okay, okay, I'll tell you everything, okay? I thanks to all the people who come to go to the Goddess Pretty Booty Nest Salon all the time. Except for Mrs. Johnson, you know, because she no tape, you know, so cheap, you know. And all the time she talking, talking, talking talking about the husband, and they say about the secretary, you know, and she told me that if this secretary have all the pricks outside, that she had inside, she'd be a porcupine. Okay,
00:55
Speaker 1
Ms. Swan. Remember, it's things you're thankful for.
00:59
Ms. Swan
Okay, thanks to you. I thanks to you, I also thanks to my health, and to the milkshake, mm, good. And I thanks to Mr. Snipes.
01:14
Speaker 1
What, you mean Wesley Snipes?
01:16
Ms. Swan
Oh, yeah, I love that big black man, you know.
01:21
Speaker 1
Okay, so you're thankful for your health, your job, and Wesley Snipes.
01:26
Ms. Swan
Yeah, okay.
01:27
Speaker 1
Okay, then, thank you. You can go.
01:30
Ms. Swan ?
Okay. Okay, you go.
01:33
Speaker 1
Ms. Swan, it's done. You can leave.
01:36
Ms. Swan
Okay, you leave. Hey, it's come on, it's because I tell you to go, I do not mean it. I am a woman, you know? Things I do not mean. Because I am a complex creature, okay? I'm okay. Only little Thanksgiving blues. Hi, turkey. here. Gobble, gobble, gobble.