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SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A friend's tearful eulogy keeps drifting back to the $800 the dead man never paid her back.

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At Danny's funeral, a friend steps up to the podium to remember him as a loving husband with hardly a flaw, apart from his habit of borrowing money and forgetting about it, which left him $800 in debt to her. Promising not to dwell on it, she admits she owes a mourner named Paul money too, quibbles with him over the amount and worries aloud that the unpaid loan might be keeping Danny out of heaven. She proposes that the guests take up a collection, or that his widow Dorothy simply write her a check, noting that Danny knew he was dying and had plenty of time to settle up. Her speech done, she corners Dorothy in the front row, pushes her to sign a check and wrestles her for it until the widow ends up sprawled on the floor.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I mean, I'm not some Rockefeller.

If Danny had paid me back the 800 he owed me, trust me, Paul, I would have given you back the 600 I owed you.

Let's all chip in and send this wonderful man up where he belongs.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Halle Berry hosted this episode, the third-season finale of MADtv, which aired on May 16, 1998.

ScriptEnglish · 20 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:01

    Speaker

    this is easily the most difficult thing i've ever had to do how do you say goodbye to a guy like danny danny was a loving loving husband and dorothy we're all here for you today

  2. 00:16

    Speaker

    you know when it comes to danny i'm hard-pressed to think of a single flaw honestly i mean if you had to push me on it

  3. 00:28

    Speaker

    there was one thing about danny

  4. 00:31

    Speaker

    He had a tendency to borrow things Money And then just forget about it A hundred here, a hundred there Before you know it, he owed me 800 bucks But I'm not even gonna mention that

  5. 00:43

    Speaker

    Would I have liked to have gotten my money back? Sure, of course I mean, I'm not some Rockefeller I mean, I'm into some money to some people in this room I mean, I owe Paul here, what, 600 bucks?

  6. 00:54

    Paul

    700

  7. 00:55

    Speaker

    Right And you know what? If Danny had paid me back the 800 he owed me Trust me, Paul. I would have given you back the 600 I owed you.

  8. 01:04

    Paul ?

    Oh, seven.

  9. 01:06

    Speaker

    That's not important, is it? What is important is this.

  10. 01:12

    Speaker

    What if Danny didn't get into heaven because of that $800 debt? What if the poor guy is out in limbo and they're trying to decide if he should go up or if he should go down? I mean, doesn't that just make you sick?

  11. 01:30

    Speaker

    I mean, what do they want us to do? Get his friends together and come up with a collection to pay me back my 800 bucks? I mean, there's something about that that just rubs me the wrong way.

  12. 01:43

    Speaker

    But hell, hey, if that's what we gotta do to get this saint up into heaven, I think that's just what you're gonna have to do.

  13. 01:54

    Speaker

    You know, Dorothy, you could just write a check, and these guys could just pay you back.

  14. 02:00

    Speaker

    now let's face it danny didn't just drop dead of a heart attack the guy had cancer he knew he was gonna die and he knew he should have ridden me that freaking check

  15. 02:10

    Speaker

    so what hey hey let's all say goodbye to danny and let's all chip in and send this wonderful man up where he belongs

  16. 02:20

    Speaker ?

    thank you

  17. 02:24

    Speaker

    hey dorothy how did i do did you get a chance to hear what i was saying I know, it's a bad time. How late do you think they're gonna keep you here tonight? Listen, listen. Dorothy, Dorothy, look. How about if you just let me write the check and you sign it later?

  18. 02:44

    Dorothy ?

    No!

  19. 02:45

    Speaker ?

    Yes! Come on, come on, come on, give it to me. Come on, give it to me. Come on, come on, come on, give it to me. Come on.

  20. 02:51

    Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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