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Helpful Hand Gangsta Rap Insurance
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a mock commercial, rapper Dr. Dazzle steps away from a recording session to sell Helpful Hand's policy for young hip-hop artists whose label bosses are in prison. He lists the covered causes of death, from drive-bys to car bombs, promises that his children and his crew will be looked after, and highlights a special clause guaranteeing revenge on whoever kills the policyholder. A buttoned-up company spokesman joins him to give the mailing address in Compton and the reassuring slogan, before the pair close with a hand-sign chant.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Like, what's gonna happen to my homies when I get smoked?
And they gonna take care of my kids after I'm gone. Even the ones I don't know about.
Whether you're East Side or West Side, we at Helpful Hand are on your side.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Dr. Dazzle
She got a butt like an onion, and she turn my gimmick green.
- 00:05
Dr. Dazzle
Hi, I'm the hellacious Dr. Dazzle. And if you, like me, an established rap artist in your early 20s with the head of your record company currently doing hard time, you could be dead before this commercial is over. That's why there's some questions you got to ask yourself. Like, what's going to happen to my homies when I get smoked? Who's going to take care of my biatches? Well, now you can get yourself some peace of mind, thanks to the gangster-wrapped life insurance policy from Helpful Hand Insurance. Helpful Hand pays in cases of drive-bys, assassinations, car bombings, and home invasions. And they gonna take care of my kids after I'm gone, even the ones I don't know about. So my skeezers and my crew will have a secure future, I mean, such as it is. Hey, I know what you're thinking. What about the player-hating suckers that take me out? Are they gonna get got? Hell yeah! Yeah, because Helpful Hand has a special payback rider that ensures that the punk-ass bitches who take you out are going to get theirs.
- 01:05
Helpful Hand Spokesman
Well put, G. Whether you're East Side or West Side, we at Helpful Hand are on your side. For the 411 on this policy, please write to...
- 01:14
Helpful Hand Spokesman
Helpful Hand Gangsta Rap Insurance, Box 187, Compton, California, 90063.
- 01:20
Helpful Hand Spokesman
Because at Helpful Hand, we've got your back.
- 01:23
Helpful Hand!-HEAD! HIP-A-HEAD! HIP-A-HEAD! HIP-A-HEAD!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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