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Funeral DJ
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A widow finishes her eulogy for her husband, a popular morning-radio personality, and the priest invites one of his co-workers to say a few short words. Adam Smasher, a loud DJ in a tiger-print jacket and sunglasses who calls himself the Brown Bomber, wheels in his sound gear and broadcasts from the lectern as if it were his morning show. He builds his tribute out of classic rock song titles, brushes off the priest when asked to hurry, embarrasses the widow by revealing a fling she had at a DJ convention, snaps at a protesting mourner and gives away concert tickets to two people in the pews. He signs off by playing a cheesy soft-rock hit and dancing beside the coffin until the priest finally tackles him.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
In the immortal words of Blue Oyster Cult, Jack here did not fear the Reaper.
Always expect the unexpected when the Brown Bomber's on the graveyard shift, Padre.
You can cut the tension in this room with a hacksaw.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Adam Smasher's tribute strings together classic-rock song titles, from Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper to Knockin' on Heaven's Door.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Widow
So I say to my departed husband Greg, honey, I will always feel your presence, because to me, you're not really dead. Thank you. Thank you all for coming.
- 00:15
Priest
Thank you, Jane. Now, many of you probably don't know the deceased as Gregory. I'm sure you've all heard his popular morning radio show, the jack cheese drive time rock and roll commute on krac and one of his co-workers adam smasher is here to say a few short words
- 00:39
Adam Smasher
all right sad well how they sisters and gloomy gussies i'm adam smasher better known as the brown bomber from krac they see the crack and we're live here well at least i'm live from the evergreen funeral home your all-day all-dead mortuary for a little morning in the morning help with the seating earlier took a couple of minutes to make my bladder gladder and i'm back in the game
- 01:12
Adam Smasher
here at 23 minutes on the high side of nine o'clock you know in the immortal words of blue oyster cult jack here did not fear the reaper and i know right now he's not driving down that highway to hell but rather sashaying up that old stairway to heaven
- 01:24
Adam Smasher
jack's only apparent problem was he He couldn't drive 55, so he's knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door at five minutes past five.
- 01:31
Priest
I'm a little pressed for time, and I didn't expect you to...
- 01:34
Adam Smasher ?
Wow! Well, always expect the unexpected when the brown bomber's on the graveyard shift, Padre. Okay, take a seat and enjoy the speech.
- 01:44
Adam Smasher
I'd like to take a few moments here to acknowledge the lovely eulogy given by the Mrs. Cheester over here. That's right, the lovely Mrs. Cheester back on the single scene and looking hotter than a bowl of salsa.
- 01:54
Adam Smasher
She was always a great wife, never unfaithful to her husband, except for that one time at the DJ's convention down in the Bahamas when she had one too many mint juleps and hooked up with Rich Lather from WPJT, the jammy. That's right, she was calling him her lover boy, and from what I hear, they were working for the weekend.
- 02:11
Mourner ?
God, if you had any decency...
- 02:12
Adam Smasher
Well, if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. Take a seat, sad sobber.
- 02:17
Adam Smasher
You know, I'm gonna get out of here. You can cut the tension in this room with a hacksaw. That's right, a little bit too much grieving and bereaving going on for this guy.
- 02:23
Adam Smasher
But before I go, I'm gonna take two lucky mourners with me That's right, you won't have to sit through this sad funeral tonight Because I got two tickets to the Styx reunion concert tonight at the Forum Who wants these babies? Okay, Jake and the Fat Man, you're coming with me tonight to the Forum Look out!
- 02:39
Adam Smasher
And now, before we go, just let me hit you with this A blast from the past, a platter that matters Here's the Pina Colada song Let's all remember what Greg would say if he were here Don't drive drunk! Hey, we'll see you from the crock!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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