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East/West College Bowl
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Two straight-faced announcers preview an East versus West college football game by introducing its players. The athletes appear in a rapid succession of portraits, each with a different hairstyle, delivery and increasingly elaborate name. The West roster pushes the pattern into unusual sounds and a symbol before ending with Dan Smith, whose plain introduction makes him the surprise.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 34
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Dan Smith, BYU.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Keegan-Michael Key
Writer
Jordan Peele
Writer
Peter Atencio
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Keegan-Michael Key recalled that Jordan Peele drafted the original player names after noticing D’Brickashaw Ferguson in Madden, while Key contributed Dan Smith from BYU. Hairstylist Amanda Mofield described alternating Key and Peele between her chair and the set to create the changing looks during the shoot.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Dave Stassen
Hi, everybody. I'm Dave Stastin, alongside Jeff Worthington, and welcome to the annual East-West Bowl as we get ready to watch some of the best college players in the nation showcase their skills in a classic showdown between East and West. And there really are some characters on this year's squads, aren't there, Jeff?
- 00:19
Geoff Worthing
That's right, Dave. It does seem like the most flamboyant personalities came to the forefront, and they are here. Let's meet the players from the East.
- 00:33
D'Marcus Williums
Demarcus Williams, University of Georgia.
- 00:36
T.J. Juckson
T.J. Jackson, Wayne State University.
- 00:39
T'Variusness King
Tavares Nithking, Merrimack College.
- 00:41
Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace
Tyroyal Smoochie Wallace, University of Miami.
- 00:45
D'Squarius Green, Jr.
Desquarius Green Jr., University of Notre Dame.
- 00:49
Ibrahim Moizoos
Ibrahim Moiseus, University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.
- 00:54
Jackmerius Tacktheritrix
Jack Marius Tachtheratrix, Michigan State University.
- 00:58
D'Isiah T. Billings-Clyde
De'Azea T. Billings-Clyde, Coastal Carolina University. University.
- 01:02
D'Jasper Probincrux III
The Jasper Probe and Crutch III, South Carolina State University.
- 01:08
Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz
Leoz Maxwell Gillios, East Carolina University.
- 01:13
Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar
Jamaris Jamar Jamarison Lamar, University of Middle Tennessee.
- 01:17
Davoin Shower-Handel
Devoyne Showerhandle, University of Southern Mississippi.
- 01:23
Hingle McCringleberry
Hingle McCringleberry, Penn State University.
- 01:25
L'Carpetron Dookmarriot
La Carpetron-Duke Marriott, Florida Atlantic University.
- 01:31
J'Dinkalage Morgoone
The Dinklage-Morgoon, University of South Florida.
- 01:36
Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon
Ex-Miss Jackson-Flaxon-Waxon, California University of Pennsylvania.
- 01:43
Dave Stassen
We're going to be looking for big plays all game long from Tyrell Smoochie Wallace.
- 01:48
Geoff Worthing
And let's not forget the tight ends, Ibrahim Moiseus and Hingle McCringleberry. They've both had amazing seasons.
- 01:55
Dave Stassen
That's right, Jeff.
- 01:55
Geoff Worthing
Yeah. Now let's meet the players from the West.
- 02:02
Saggitariutt Jefferspin
Vegetariat Jeffers Bend, Texas A&M.
- 02:07
D'Glester Hardunkichud
Decluster Hodunkichud, University of Wisconsin.
- 02:10
Swirvithan L'Goodling-Splatt
Swarvathan L. Gooding-Splatt, Saskatchewan University.
- 02:14
Quatro Quatro
Quattro Quattro, San Jose State University.
- 02:18
Ozamataz Buckshank
Ajummataz Buckshank, Stanford University.
- 02:23
Beezer Twelve Washingbeard
Beezer 12, Washington Beard, Jones College.
- 02:26
Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter
Shakira Kwan, TGIEF, Carter, University of Northern Arizona.
- 02:31
X-Wing @Aliciousness
X Wayne, at Alicia'sness, Missouri Western State University.
- 02:37
Sequester Grundelplith M.D.
Sequester Brundle-Plith, MD, Adams State.
- 02:41
Scoish Velociraptor Maloish
Scoys Velociraptor, Molloy's, South Dakota State University.
- 02:46
T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V
TJAJRJ, backslash is fourth, the fifth, Albion College.
- 02:54
EEEEE EEEEEEEEE
San Diego State University. University.
- 02:57
Donkey Teeth
Donkey Teeth, Boise State University.
- 03:00
Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith
Tork Lewis, Nevada State Penitentiary.
- 03:08
The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop
The player formerly known as Mouse Cop, University of Missouri, Columbia.
- 03:16
Dan Smith
Dan Smith, BYU.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
