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What Catcalling Was Like in the Olden Days
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Two farmhands in an old-fashioned rural South watch the women stroll past their barn. Keegan-Michael Key's gentleman greets each one with an elaborate compliment drawn from nature, while Jordan Peele's friend keeps finishing the thought with blunt remarks about their bodies. Key coaches him to be subtle, then to say nothing at all, but even Peele's wordless humming ends in an obscene word that drives two more women away. Told to keep his distance, Peele finally manages a courtly compliment of his own for Miss Laverne, who answers with a bawdy one that leaves him smitten.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
In that dress, you looking about as sweet as a field full of honeysuckle after a spring rain shower.
How about we just say no words altogether.
Oh. I did say a word at the end there, didn't I?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:05
Gentleman
Whoo-wee! Miss Clarissa, I'm going to tell you, girl, in that dress, you looking about as sweet as a field full of honeysuckle after a spring rain shower. How do you do it, girl?
- 00:20
Friend
That ass though.
- 00:26
Gentleman
What was that?
- 00:27
Friend
What was what?
- 00:28
Gentleman
What you just said to her.
- 00:30
Friend
Oh, I was just following your lead.
- 00:32
Gentleman
No, you wasn't. You was being all heavy-handed with it, man. You got to be subtle.
- 00:39
Friend
Subtle?
- 00:39
Gentleman
Exactly. You got to be subtle. you want to talk to them ladies.
- 00:43
Friend
I can do that.
- 00:44
Gentleman
What? Whoo-hoo-hoo-wee! Mr. Neese, girl, the way that dress is flowing, you look like a mountain creek after the spring thaw. Simply refreshing. What is your secret?
- 01:00
Friend
The way that dress fitting on you got them titties popping out.
- 01:06
Gentleman
What?
- 01:07
Friend
Amazing. He said, what is your secret?
- 01:12
Gentleman
What are you doing?
- 01:13
Friend
I was just doing what you was doing.
- 01:15
Gentleman
No, you wasn't. I even said, what is your secret?
- 01:19
Friend
That's verbatim.
- 01:20
Gentleman
That part was, did you hear me saying anything about anybody's titties?
- 01:26
Friend
No.
- 01:26
Gentleman
You know what? How about we just say no words altogether?
- 01:31
Friend
No words altogether.
- 01:32
Gentleman
Mm-hmm.
- 01:33
Friend
Question.
- 01:33
Gentleman
Yeah?
- 01:34
Friend
How will I talk?
- 01:35
Gentleman
You're not going to talk, OK?
- 01:36
Friend
All right.
- 01:36
Gentleman
All right. Hoo-hoo-hoo-wee! Ladies, I'm sorry, y'all hurt my eye. Y'all just like smoldering like the sun and just as bright in them beautiful dresses.
- 01:47
Friend
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. mm. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Vagina.
- 01:56
Gentleman
What the hell was that?
- 01:58
Friend
Oh, I did say a word at the end there, didn't I?
- 02:00
Gentleman
Did you see the part when all this was going on and shaking the tail feathers and whatnot?
- 02:03
Friend
I didn't see it. I got the worst view in the house.
- 02:07
Gentleman
That's what chased him away, man.
- 02:09
Friend
All right.
- 02:09
Gentleman
You know what? Stay away from me.
- 02:11
Friend
All right.
- 02:17
Friend
Whoo! Miss Laverne, you like a long-stemmed rose. The way you looking and smelling, mm, mm, mm. What is your recipe?
- 02:31
Miss Laverne
Damn, boy. I bet you got a big old dick and balls.
- 02:35
Friend
I love you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Key & Peele.
