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Sex Addict Wendell
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At an evening support-group meeting, the counselor invites newcomers to open up, and Wendell eagerly introduces himself as a sex addict looking for one special person. Asked about the night he hit rock bottom, he lavishes far more detail on his pizza order and every slice than on the delivery woman he invited in, using food talk in place of anything resembling intimacy. He closes by declaring himself vulnerable and turning his attention to the women around the circle, until the counselor politely ends the session.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Hi, y'all. Name's Wendell, and I am, in fact, a sexual addict.
Second slice didn't stand a chance.
What girl? Oh, the girl. Yeah, she was there, too.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Paste Magazine's review of the episode named this the week's best sketch, singling out a slow zoom on Wendell's face that underscores his moral emptiness.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Sex Addict #1
I wake up next to this guy, and as usual, I don't even know his name. I'm trying to get dressed quickly and get out of there before he wakes up, but I can't find my underwear. I look everywhere, but I just can't find them. And then it hits me. I had left them at another guy's apartment earlier that night, And that's when I knew I had a problem.
- 00:34
Sex Addict Counselor
Thanks for sharing, Skye. Well, I noticed a lot of new faces this evening. And I'm so glad you all came. And I want you to know that this is a safe place to share. So if you want to tell us your story, there'll be no judgment.
- 00:55
Wendell Sanders
Sure, I'll go. Hi, y'all. Name's Wendell. and I am, in fact, a sexual addict.
- 01:07
Hi, Wendell.
- 01:09
Sex Addict Counselor
And what brings you here, Wendell?
- 01:12
Wendell Sanders
Well, you know, my life, sexually speaking, is crazy, and I just want to find one single solitary person to spend the rest of my life with. Just one. Just one.
- 01:30
Sex Addict Counselor
so do you feel like your addiction is too much to handle right now
- 01:35
Wendell Sanders
duh i mean it's been crazy y'all with me the nastier the better i'm a dirty dog try everything all the fixings tantric much like sting all the bells and whistles you name it i've dunced it
- 01:57
Sex Addict Counselor
and when would you say you hit rock bottom wendell
- 02:01
Wendell Sanders
when it got slippery outside my shower on the floor outside my shower oh i hit rock bottom sexually probably last night last night
- 02:15
Sex Addict Counselor ?
do you think that you could tell us what happened wendell
- 02:18
Wendell Sanders
yeah let's see uh it's just like any other The other night, I had ordered a large pie, pepperoni, pineapple, cheesy crust, some cheesy bread on the side. I cut to 30 men later. Pizza parlor sent over a delicious lady delivery person. Body tan, face tan. That's my weakness. So I invited her inside, side. Opened up the box. It was hot. Devoured the first slice. Lick at his split. Crust first. Second slice didn't stand a chance. Ate the tip of that bitch first. Washed it down with a pop. Then I got nasty with the cheesy bread. My heart started pounding. Harder than usual. Ker-slunk. Ker-slunk. Moved on to the third slice.
- 03:17
Sex Addict Counselor ?
What about the girl?
- 03:19
Wendell Sanders
What girl? Oh, the girl. Yeah, she was there, too. I invited her into my boudoir, a.k.a. the stabbing cabin. We disrobed one another. I touched her on her genitalia. She touched me on my manitalia, and that's when I hit it. Sexually, of course. Upstairs, downstairs, all around the town stairs, as you do. And, uh, by then, it was just another night. And I mean, oil everywhere and sauce all over me.
- 04:00
Sex Addict Counselor ?
Sauce?
- 04:01
Wendell Sanders
Oh, yeah, that's my word for ejaculate. Anyhoo, I'm so distraught because I feel vulnerable. And I don't know. I just feel like anyone could take advantage of me right now. Anyone. Okay, let's see what the blondes have to say first.
- 04:27
Sex Addict Counselor
Well, thank you, Wendell. Um, thank you for sharing. It's actually our time today.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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