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You Can Do Anything
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Fresh from a championship win, Charlie Sanders turns a locker-room interview into an increasingly reckless pep talk for young viewers. The reporter tries to qualify his impossible promises, but Sanders treats every correction as a challenge. At a later press conference, he apologizes to bereaved families and reveals that he has finally looked up the words he was using.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Screw that negativity, man!
Whereas I was not incorrect, they did not mean what I thought they meant.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Reporter
What a mind-blowing finish to an incredible game tonight with Charlie Sanders winning the game in literally the last second. Unbelievable, truly spectacular. Charlie Sanders, how does it feel?
- 00:12
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Hey, y'all, I want to say something to everybody watching. Yo, you can do anything. Anything's possible. The world is yours.
- 00:19
Reporter
Charlie, did you think that that game was going to end that way tonight?
- 00:22
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Yo, there are no limits, all right? You can swim across the Atlantic. You can jump real high and touch the moon.
- 00:28
Reporter
Fantastic. Charlie Sanders, fresh off of his, uh, victory, uh, just feel like he's ready to touch the moon.
- 00:34
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
I can fly! Anybody can fly! If you believe in yourself the way I believe in myself tonight, you will fly!
- 00:43
Reporter
And what's next for Charlie Sanders and the orange one?
- 00:45
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Kids! You can actually fly!
- 00:48
Reporter
No, no, not, well, not literally.
- 00:49
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Yes! Literally! Kids, young kids, I want you to go up on your roofs right now!
- 00:55
Reporter
Wait, what?
- 00:55
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Fly into the night sky!
- 00:57
Reporter
Okay.
- 00:58
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
People will see you fly! And you can do anything.
- 01:00
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
You can do anything.
- 01:02
Reporter
OK, well, we just want to remind the kids that, of course, you cannot actually fly, kids.
- 01:06
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Come on, yo, screw that negativity, man. Hey, boys and girls ages 8 through 12, yo, don't let nobody ever tell you what you can and cannot do. All the preteen children out there, listen to my voice. You are immortal!
- 01:21
Reporter
OK, well, obviously, we understand that Charlie is super excited right now and that no one is actually immortal, nobody at all.
- 01:28
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Yo, kids, you can turn yourself into a car and have a friend drive you onto the freeway.
- 01:34
Reporter
OK, no, well, that's just a metaphor, kids.
- 01:36
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
It's not. You still have the power of childish innocence. Get a friend on your back and make a beeline for the next ramp to the freeway, y'all.
- 01:45
Reporter
OK, don't do it.
- 01:46
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
To the freeway.
- 01:47
Reporter
He's speaking figuratively, Fox.
- 01:48
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
Once you get there, ain't nothing figurative about this. You will turn into a robot.
- 01:54
Charlie Sanders (Basketball Player)
First and foremost, I just want to say to the 12 families who lost children. I'm sorry. My statements were irresponsible. I have subsequently looked up the terms, literally and metaphorically, and found that whereas I was not incorrect, they did not mean what I thought they meant.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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