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The Worst Way to Get Medical Marijuana
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Told by a friend in a clinic waiting room that doctors will prescribe medical marijuana for anything, Mr. Washington walks into Dr. Johnson's exam room and blurts out that he has AIDS. The doctor, eager to write the prescription, explains that a serious disease would have to be confirmed with tests, while vague, uncheckable complaints like back pain or anxiety would get him the cannabis on the spot. Mr. Washington claims to understand, then lurches through leprosy, scurvy, rickets, consumption and schizophrenia, acting out symptoms for each and finally turning up with a fishhook in his lip, until the exasperated doctor simply asks whether his face hurts and hands over the prescription.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Sleep like a baby... with AIDS.
Let's just slow your roll for a second here.
No, Mr. Washington. Something from this century.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Peter Atencio
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Weed Guy
I'm telling you, it's totally legal. These doctors, they'll prescribe medical marijuana to anyone, man.
- 00:05
Mr. Washington
What do I tell them I need it for?
- 00:07
Weed Guy
It doesn't matter. They want to give you prescription. That's how they get paid. Just make something up.
- 00:15
Dr. Johnson
Hey, Mr. Washington, welcome.
- 00:17
Mr. Washington
Hey, doctor.
- 00:18
Dr. Johnson
All right, I'm going to ask you a couple questions.
- 00:19
Mr. Washington
AIDS.
- 00:20
Dr. Johnson
What?
- 00:22
Mr. Washington
AIDS.
- 00:25
Dr. Johnson
AIDS? As in, uh...
- 00:26
Mr. Washington
As in, I got it. Need lots of weed to get rid of it.
- 00:32
Dr. Johnson
Oh, okay, AIDS. Um, wow. All right, uh, are you sure you're not suffering from anything else like, you know, back pain?
- 00:40
Mr. Washington
Nope.
- 00:41
Dr. Johnson
Anxiety?
- 00:42
Mr. Washington
Cool as a cucumber.
- 00:43
Dr. Johnson
How about insomnia?
- 00:44
Mr. Washington
Sleep like a baby... with AIDS.
- 00:48
Dr. Johnson
Okay, Mr. Washington, let's just slow your roll for a second here. If you had AIDS, then I would have to verify it by seeing test results, whereas if you have back pain or anxiety or anything else that I can't test for, then I can give you this prescription for cannabis right now.
- 01:02
Mr. Washington
Oh.
- 01:02
Dr. Johnson
Understand?
- 01:03
Mr. Washington
Oh. I see. I get it.
- 01:04
Dr. Johnson
Awesome.
- 01:05
Mr. Washington
My bad.
- 01:06
Dr. Johnson
Good. Good, good, good. OK, so.
- 01:07
Mr. Washington
Leprosy.
- 01:08
Dr. Johnson
No. No. Because if you had leprosy, I'd have to quarantine you.
- 01:12
Mr. Washington
Ouch.
- 01:13
Dr. Johnson
What do you? No. OK, I see your fingers falling off.
- 01:16
Mr. Washington
Ouch.
- 01:16
Dr. Johnson
No, don't do that, though. That's not going to work.
- 01:18
Mr. Washington
Scurvy.
- 01:18
Dr. Johnson
Nope.
- 01:19
Mr. Washington
Rickets.
- 01:20
Dr. Johnson
What? No.
- 01:21
Mr. Washington
Consumption.
- 01:21
Dr. Johnson
No, Mr. Washington, something from this century.
- 01:24
Mr. Washington
Schizophrenia.
- 01:25
Mr. Washington
You don't have schizophrenia.
- 01:26
Dr. Johnson
Just keep it simple, please. What the hell is that? I don't know what that is!
- 01:32
Mr. Washington
That's a fishhook in my list.
- 01:33
Dr. Johnson
Just pick something off this list.
- 01:35
Mr. Washington
I can't reach it.
- 01:36
Dr. Johnson
Why not?
- 01:37
Mr. Washington
Paralyzed.
- 01:39
Dr. Johnson
Does your face hurt, Mr. Washington?
- 01:41
Mr. Washington
Yeah.
- 01:42
Dr. Johnson
Then this should help.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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