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Black Howard Dean
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
After real footage of Howard Dean's notorious 2004 rally speech, the hosts suggest Dave would have handled the moment differently. Chappelle, in a gray wig as the Vermont governor, turns Dean's state-by-state pledge into a runaway boast that wanders to Cancun, Montreal and the Oval Office desk he plans to chop in half, punctuating every brag with an ecstatic yell. A mock vice-presidential debate then cuts him against genuine footage of Dick Cheney, where his answer on gay marriage spirals into wild claims about Cheney's relatives and more screaming. One week later, a music-video-style campaign spot finds him dancing in an Uncle Sam hat.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
We're going to Cancun for spring break.
I love lesbians!
I watched The L Word on Showtime.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico. We're going to California and Texas and New York. And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House. Yeah!
- 00:24
You know what? Howard Dean should have just kept on with it. This is what Dave would have done.
- 00:27
Howard Dean
You know something? We're not just going to go to New Hampshire. Tom Harkin We are gonna go to New York. We're gonna go to Vermont. We're gonna go to Oregon We're gonna go to Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania. We're going to Cancun for spring break. We're gonna go to Montreal We're going to Vancouver. I'm going all over the world. And then I'm coming all the way to Washington DC to take back the White House The I would kick open the door of the Oval Office, and I would chop that motherfucking desk in half. and I'm now i'm grabbing gonna have a secret service like this and put my hair down and I'm gonna and then I'm going to go and stare into my bedroom, grab my wife like this and I'm like, And then I'm gonna wash up, I'm gonna wash up, and I'm gonna be like this.
- 01:29
He sets policies for this administration, and I support the president.
- 01:42
90 seconds.
- 01:43
Howard Dean
Well, I think it's important to remember when you're talking about this issue that Vice President Cheney has a lesbian daughter, and not only is his daughter a lesbian, but his mom's a lesbian, and his sister's a lesbian, and his great-great-granny has holes in her panties. BYEAH!
- 02:02
Well, go ahead and let me sit for a while. Thank you for those kind words you said about my family. And our daughter, I appreciate it.
- 02:09
Howard Dean
BYEAH! I love lesbians! BYEAH! I watched The L Word on Showtime. BYEAH! Yeah! I got a text policy that'll break your neck. BYEAH! Got you all to check. Going from Washington down to Vermont down to... BYEAH! Pyaaah! Pyaaah! Aaaaah!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Chappelle's Show.
