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The Two-Minute Special
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Dave Chappelle tells his studio audience that talks with Comedy Central over a one-hour special collapsed because the network wouldn't meet his price, though it did find the money for a two-minute version, and they are about to see it. A large on-screen countdown begins as he heads backstage, and the timer keeps running while he wanders through hallways, past the crew and the band, takes a drink of water and slowly makes his way to the wings. By the time he is introduced and walks out to applause, only seconds remain. He promises to finally tell everyone how he feels about the war and about President Bush, builds up the moment, and then simply thanks the crowd and says good night as the clock hits zero. Mock closing credits roll, and a final tag finds Dave in the green room shouting at the people inside to pay him.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
They did come up with enough money for me to do a two-minute special.
Well, this is how I feel. Thank you very much. Good night.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The mock end credits name Mario Van Peebles as director, list the writers as "All Dave or All Neal?" and give special thanks to the Reagan/Bush Administration.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Self
You know, folks, tonight is actually a very special night.
- 00:06
Self
I was in negotiations with Comedy Central to do a one-hour special, much like I did on HBO. Very excited about it, and then suddenly the negotiations fell apart because they just didn't have the money that I wanted. They won't budge.
- 00:18
Self
But they did. They did come up with enough money for me to do a two-minute special.
- 00:25
Self
Yes, and tonight, you are the lucky crowd that gets to see it. So everyone just sit tight.
- 00:29
Self
I'm going to go on the back, and we're going to start shooting this puppy. All right, let's get it going.
- 02:00
Speaker 1 ?
Ladies and Gentlemen, get Chappelle!
- 02:06
I'm your host, Dave Chappelle.
- 02:19
Self
What's up? How y'all feeling?
- 02:23
Self
I got to get right into it. I don't have a lot of time now.
- 02:27
Self
I want to talk about the war. I want to tell y'all how I really feel about the war.
- 02:33
Self
Y'all ready to hear how I feel about the war? Y'all ready to hear how I feel about Bush?
- 02:39
Self
Well, this is how I feel. Thank you very much. Good night.
- 03:09
Self ?
Fucking pay me!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Chappelle's Show.
