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Home Stenographer
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
As a couple bickers in bed over whether he once said she would end up looking like her mother, a stenographer seated at the bedside reads back the exchange and proves that Brian said exactly that, handing Janice the win. A smiling pitchman introduces the Home Stenographer, a permanent record keeper for your home available for a one-time fee plus upkeep, and promises it will turn any room into a courtroom. In a second demonstration, parents returning from a night out have the stenographer stationed in their child's room read back the babysitter's instructions to the kids, which reveal plans for a session with her boyfriend, and they show her the door. For people on the go, the travel stenographer rides in a frame backpack: when a young man insists he never drunkenly said he would make out with Matt Damon, his friend calls for a read-back that turns up an even more damaging admission about Ben Affleck, and the humiliated young man insults the stenographer and runs off. A closing card advertises both models.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Are you sick of your friends and family getting everything you say all mixed up?
With the home stenographer, you'll turn any room into a courtroom.
And now, for those on the go, the travel stenographer. Backpacks sold separately.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Aired in the series premiere of Chappelle's Show on January 22, 2003, between the Nat King Cole music-video parody and the Frontline report on Clayton Bigsby.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
All right, y'all, we'll be right back. We're going to take a quick commercial break. Sit tight for more of this Chappelle show.
- 00:10
Janice ?
But you still said not five minutes ago that you were afraid I was going to end up looking like my mother.
- 00:14
Brian ?
I didn't say that.
- 00:15
Janice ?
Yes, you did.
- 00:15
Brian ?
No, that's not what I said.
- 00:17
Janice ?
Yes, you did. You said you were afraid.
- 00:18
Home Stenographer Host
I heard of this happening to you. Are you sick of your friends and family getting everything you say all mixed up? Well, help has arrived.
- 00:25
Don't call me a liar. I didn't say that. Oh, no? No. Read back five minutes ago.
- 00:34
Janice, what are you saying, Brian? Brian, I am afraid. I just feel like someday you might look like your mom, maybe. Should I read more?
- 00:43
Brian ?
Oh, no. That's fine. Thank you.
- 00:46
Janice ?
In your face.
- 00:50
Brian ?
I'm gonna go masturbate. Home stenographer. You wanna write that down?
- 00:55
Home Stenographer Host
The home stenographer. Now for a small one-time fee plus minor upkeep, you can have your very own permanent record keeper right in your house. with the home stenographer you'll turn any room into a courtroom
- 01:08
read back when that babysitter told the kids to go to bed
- 01:17
young woman all right you little brats go to sleep my boyfriend's here we're gonna have us a sex session kids we don't want to go to bed young woman well you can watch if you want just keep it down to the boyfriend drop your pants big man
- 01:34
well she's never coming Thanks, home stenographer.
- 01:39
Speaker 1 ?
Dude, no matter how drunk I was, why would I say that I would make out with Matt Damon?
- 01:43
Speaker 2 ?
I don't know, man. You said it, though.
- 01:45
Speaker 1 ?
There's no way.
- 01:47
Speaker 2 ?
Read it back to him.
- 01:49
Home Stenographer Host
And now, for those on the go, the travel stenographer. Backpacks sold separately.
- 01:53
I guess if it came down to it, I would bang Ben Affleck.
- 01:57
Speaker 2 ?
Oh, my God! I knew it was one of those dudes. You are so gay now!
- 02:03
Speaker 1 ?
Stupid dwarf! Dwarf!
- 02:08
Speaker 2 ?
Totally gay. 100%.
- 02:10
Home Stenographer Host ?
Home stenographer and travel stenographer Available in stores now Available in our mailbox
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Chappelle's Show.
