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The Office Flirt

Cardinal Burns 2012 Season 1 Episode 1

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Self-appointed office flirt Charlie has his routine down to a science, until a leather-jacketed new guy strolls in and steals his crown.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Charlie, the office's resident flirt, pops into a board meeting to book a quick flirt with Sue, praises her new haircut and leaves glowing, then strolls to the water cooler to offer the same service to Sally. She turns him down because she has already promised a flirt to the new guy, who struts through the office in slow motion, hair flicking and leather jacket swinging. When the newcomer arrives, Charlie insists that flirting is his territory and demonstrates with a stiff compliment about Sally looking healthy, but the new guy simply pours out an overblown confession about his racing heart. Sally melts, demands a kiss, and the pair lock lips at length while a stunned Charlie can only concede that his rival might be amazing.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 5

Profile photo

Highly quotable.

Sue, just wondered if you were free for a bit of a flirt?

Wait a minute. I'm the office flirt around here.

It's like I'm on a rollercoaster ride, and I just want you to be on that ride with me.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

Ben Taylor
Director

ScriptEnglish · 31 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:05
Mike
OK, look, guys. Third quarter turnover is down. And even though there's probably no surprise, it's 60%.
00:11
Speaker 1 ?
Hi, Mike. Sorry to interrupt.
00:13
Mike
No, that's no problem, Charlie.
00:14
Speaker 1 ?
Sue just wondered if you were free for a bit of a flirt.
00:18
Sue ?
Oh, yeah, Should be able to fit one in.
00:21
Speaker 1 ?
Great. You look nice. Have you done something to your hair?
00:24
Sue ?
Yes. I had it cut on the weekend.
00:26
Speaker 1 ?
Oh, that really suits you. Makes you look like Cameron Diaz.
00:29
Sue ?
All right, thanks. Thanks very much.
00:31
Speaker 1 ?
OK, cheers, Mike.
00:32
Mike
No problem, Charlie. So yeah, profit margins. It's all about maintaining integrity.
00:38
Speaker 1 ?
Hi Oh, hi, Sally.
00:40
Sally ?
Oh, hi, Charlie.
00:41
Speaker 1 ?
Yeah, I've just been flirting with Sue in the boardroom.
00:43
Sally ?
Oh, yeah.
00:43
Speaker 1 ?
It went really well, actually. I'm on fire. What about you? Fancy a bit of a flirt?
00:49
Sally ?
Oh, I'd love to, Charlie, but I'm actually just about to have one with the new guy.
00:52
Speaker 1 ?
Who?
01:07
Speaker 2 ?
Hey, Sally. Sorry I'm late. Have you still got time for that flirt?
01:11
Sally ?
I'm sorry. I thought we'd already started.
01:14
Speaker 2 ?
You're ridiculous.
01:15
Speaker 1 ?
Wait a minute. I'm the office flirt around here.
01:18
Speaker 2 ?
Oh, well, be my guest.
01:20
Speaker 1 ?
Thank you. Hi Sally. You look healthy. Are your tanks on a detox? It's obviously working for you.
01:28
Speaker 2 ?
Are you done?
01:31
Speaker 1 ?
Yes.
01:33
Speaker 2 ?
Look Sally, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to blow smoke up your arse because that's not what I'm about. But every time I'm near you, it's like my heart is racing at a thousand beats per minute, bar none. It's like I'm on a rollercoaster ride and I just want you to be on that ride with me.
01:47
Sally ?
Kiss me.
01:55
You're amazing.
02:07
Speaker 1 ?
You're amazing.
02:08
Speaker 2 ?
Maybe I am.