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Get Your Flirt On
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Crammed into an office washroom, a bunch of office geeks receive a military-style pep talk from the two Office Flirts, who treat the day's flirting as a live-fire operation and urge their recruits to keep it simple, collect an extension number and retreat. The squad pours out onto the open-plan floor, and as the pair shrug off what could possibly go wrong, the mission descends into smoke, flames, screaming colleagues and a stretchered casualty. With the police arriving, a bearded colleague makes the two hand over their passes and empty their pockets of pilfered office supplies, from a calculator to a teddy bear, before one parting swipe sends the whole confiscated pile flying.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
This is no simulation. This is live ammo.
Now let's get our flirt on.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Ben Taylor
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This sketch aired in the fourth episode of Cardinal Burns series 2 on Channel 4 in May 2014, as part of the recurring Office Flirts strand in which New Guy and Charlie train a gang of resident office geeks in the art of flirting.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:14
Speaker 1 ?
Okay. Coast clear, NG. Thank you, Charlie. Fanny ticklers on, please.
- 00:19
Speaker 1
All right, men, this is no simulation. This is live ammo. Keep the flirt simple. If it's going well and you're vibing, go for the extension number and walk away. We're not looking for any heroes here. Now let's get our flirt on.
- 00:32
Speaker 2
Okay, you heard the man. Let's fucking do this. Ow, ow, ow. Go, go, go, go, go. Move it, move it. Plenty of pussy to go around.
- 00:40
Speaker 2 ?
Do you think they're ready?
- 00:44
Speaker 1
I don't know, Charlie. I really don't know. But, hey, what's the worst that can happen?
- 00:50
Speaker 2 ?
I can see this getting out of hand. I
- 01:11
Speaker 1 ?
I'm all pussy, I don't wanna be the magic man!
- 01:15
Speaker 2 ?
Pops and passes, please. Can't we just sleep on it? Pops and passes. Oh, this is bullshit, man.
- 01:26
Speaker 1 ?
There we go. Let's Cocomelon. So we take the teddy bear. pen holder, teddy Oh, and there is one last thing.
- 01:43
Speaker 2 ?
Yeah, boy!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Cardinal Burns.
