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Rachel & Chris

Cardinal Burns2014Season 2Episode 6
Cardinal Burns
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Two wigged-up friends hunt through a boutique for the perfect birthday present for a boyfriend, with one of them crunching snacks the whole way.

Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Two friends in wigs browse a clothes and accessories shop for a gift for one woman's boyfriend, Chris, while the glamorous black-haired friend helpfully eats snacks over every purchase decision and the blonde keeps being distracted. They settle on a black watch and present it at a lively flat party, where the friend holds court with a dramatic story in her native language. When the birthday boy opens the box, a stray crisp has been left inside the watch box, and the sketch ends on the blonde's tearful reflection on how the mishap has strained both her friendship and her relationship.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 2

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Would you stop eating crisps in my ear? They smell like pork.

That's actually a black watch.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Released on Channel 4 Comedy's YouTube channel as "Rachel & Chris (S2-Ep6)"; British Comedy Guide lists it among the videos for series 2, episode 6.

ScriptEnglish · 38 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.

  1. 00:02

    I've looked at everything in this section and there's nothing good.

  2. 00:05

    Yummy, help me. What did I buy you for your last birthday present?

  3. 00:08

    You borrowed my earrings. Thank you.

  4. 00:11

    Olivia, I would ask you, but we're really not getting on at the moment.

  5. 00:14

    Let's just keep looking.

  6. 00:19

    Excuse me. How much is that?

  7. 00:22

    That's mine.

  8. 00:23

    Chris wouldn't like it anyway.

  9. 00:27

    Chris would love this.

  10. 00:29

    What is it? Like a game or something?

  11. 00:32

    Excuse me. What kind of watch is that?

  12. 00:35

    That's actually a black watch.

  13. 00:38

    Yummy.

  14. 00:38

    Would you stop eating crisps in my ear?

  15. 00:40

    They smell like pork.

  16. 00:42

    It's perfect.

  17. 00:43

    I'll take it.

  18. 00:51

    Hey.

  19. 00:54

    Hey, it's my birthday boy!

  20. 00:57

    Mwah, mwah.

  21. 00:58

    I cannot believe you've done this.

  22. 01:00

    It is incredible.

  23. 01:01

    It's all for you, baby.

  24. 01:03

    I call him baby.

  25. 01:06

    So you're going to have to wait a little bit longer for that.

  26. 01:11

    It's

  27. 01:22

    And this is

  28. 01:24

    from me.

  29. 01:25

    There's

  30. 01:30

    It's a black watch!

  31. 01:38

    There's

  32. 01:38

    a bit of crisp in it.

  33. 01:39

    What

  34. 01:40

    don't know what I've

  35. 01:42

    I've done, or if I love.

  36. 01:48

    What I've begun

  37. 01:49

    Rachel, please

  38. 01:53

    It's like ever since yummy left the crisp in the watch box things between me and Chris have been so weird

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

More from Cardinal Burns.

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