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How Netflix Manages to Have So Many Shows
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A couple scrolling through Netflix can't decide what to watch and reluctantly settle on a baking title called Britain's Smallest Pies. Deep inside the company, a fake-show alert sends the control room into a panic, and a veteran staffer explains to a bewildered new hire that most of the catalog is just catchy titles and artwork padding out the handful of real hits. The boss sends the newcomer to the pie closet for the tiniest pie she can find, shoos a green-suited crew member out of the shot and improvises the program's plummy British narration himself, while the couple on the couch find the result painfully dull. Relief is short-lived: the pair start eyeing even stranger titles, and once they settle on a real show a viewer in Minnesota starts another supposedly fake series, prompting the boss to send for Drew Barrymore, who has apparently been kept in a crate on the premises for two seasons, before he gives up and plays Frasier instead.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
All right, come on, people, we can't buffer forever. Let's go!
Pies come in all shapes and sizes. But in this show, they're all small.
She's been down here for two seasons.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Nicholas Jasenovec
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Woman on Couch ?
You should just pick something.
- 00:02
Man on Couch ?
I can't decide. There's so many options. It's like, who even watches all this stuff?
- 00:07
Woman on Couch ?
How about Flip My Aquarium? Oh, God, never mind.
- 00:10
Man on Couch ?
Yeah, that sounds terrible.
- 00:12
Woman on Couch ?
How about this? Britain's Smallest Pies.
- 00:15
Man on Couch ?
That sounds...fine? Sure. Try it out.
- 00:23
Boss
We've got a live one, people.
- 00:24
Speaker 1 ?
What is it this time, boss?
- 00:25
Boss
Someone clicked on a tiny f-----g pie show.
- 00:27
Speaker 1 ?
Why would someone click on that?
- 00:28
Boss
I don't know why, but they did. And it's not real, so we need to make up something quick. Go on.
- 00:32
Nina ?
I'm sorry, what are we doing?
- 00:34
Boss
Your first day? Buckle up, kid.
- 00:37
Speaker 1 ?
The majority of shows and movies on Netflix are fake, just catchy titles with nice-looking graphic boxes so it looks like we have all the shows in the world.
- 00:46
Boss ?
Yeah, they're padding for real shows like Stranger Things and Frasier. So whenever somebody clicks on one of these fake bullshit titles like Britain's Smallest Pies or Battery Hoarders or Santa Clarita Diet, we have to slap something together real quick. All right, come on, people, we can't buffer forever. Let's go! Nina.
- 01:01
Nina ?
What?
- 01:02
Boss ?
What? Get the pie.
- 01:03
Nina ?
The pie?
- 01:03
Boss ?
Get the pie.
- 01:04
Nina ?
Where?
- 01:05
Boss ?
From the pie closet.
- 01:06
Nina ?
What?
- 01:06
Boss ?
Smallest pie you can find.
- 01:07
Nina ?
Okay, I'll find it.
- 01:15
Nina ?
Boss, We got a pie.
- 01:17
Boss ?
Great, now put it down.
- 01:18
Speaker 1 ?
We're ready for your voiceover.
- 01:19
Boss ?
Perfect.
- 01:22
Boss
I'm sorry, are you British?
- 01:24
Huh?
- 01:24
Boss
Are you a pie? Then get out of the shot. Get out of the shot. All right, everybody quiet down. Everybody quiet down. We're going live in three, two, one.
- 01:36
Boss ?
Pies come in all shapes and sizes. But in this show, they're all small. Join us as we take a look at some of Britain's smallest pies.
- 01:46
Man on Couch ?
This is it. This is boring as shit.
- 01:49
Woman on Couch ?
Yeah, I thought it was going to be like a competition or something.
- 01:52
Boss ?
No competition here. It's just this.
- 01:58
Speaker 1 ?
Oh, thank God. They turned it off.
- 02:00
Boss
Great work, everyone. Great work.
- 02:02
Speaker 1 ?
Ah, boss. You're going to want to see this.
- 02:06
Boss
Now what?
- 02:07
Speaker 1 ?
The same couple now they're hovering over a title called big pointy houses looks like they're deciding between that and the shrimp whisper
- 02:13
Boss
The fuck is wrong with these people? Why can't they watch Stranger Things or Frasier like normal people? Okay We have to prepare for both contingencies Martinez find me stock footage of the biggest pointiest houses you can go Jackson call that guy You know the one with the shrimp, bro. Go go go go.
- 02:29
What if we don't have enough time for that?
- 02:31
Boss
We'll just play something else pretend. It's a glitch a real show. I don't know like Frasier
- 02:36
Speaker 1 ?
Crisis averted, sir. They picked Black Mirror.
- 02:38
Boss
Oh, thank God. That was close.
- 02:41
Speaker 1 ?
Oh, no.
- 02:42
Boss ?
What?
- 02:43
Speaker 1 ?
Some guy in Minnesota just pressed play on Santa Clarita Diet.
- 02:49
Boss
Okay. Get me Drew Barrymore.
- 02:55
Why is she here? Why is she so mad?
- 02:58
Boss
She's been down here for two seasons. you know You know what? Let's just play Frasier.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Alternatino with Arturo Castro.
