You're tuned to the good stuff
The Bold and the Cubicle
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Staged as an episode of the overwrought serial The Bold and the Cubicle, Daphne gives Shyla, the new district director's director, a tour of the office and introduces her to Saizon, the work wife who shared her cubicle for five years. Every slight lands with smoldering glares and hair tosses: Saizon cannot forgive Daphne for training someone else, a flirtatious UPS driver named Cliff drops off yet another damaged package, and the breakup turns into a custody battle over their desk succulent, complete with a subtitled Spanish-language outburst. Then Shyla pulls off her wig to reveal she is Saizon's long-lost former work wife, back from the dead to propose to Daphne with a ring hidden in a stapler, before an announcer teases next week's cliffhangers.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
The insurance covers health, dental and DUIs.
How is your wife, Clifford? Is she dead yet?
Four more and we get our own show on TLC.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Bridget Stokes
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Phil LaMarr voices the show-within-a-show announcer, according to the episode's IMDb credits.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Daphne
You are gonna love everybody here, but Bobby. Everybody hates him. And that is the Vodka and Alizé kegerator.
- 00:07
Shyla ?
Oh, nice.
- 00:10
Daphne ?
Oh, good morning, Bobby. You know, this is why I took this job. The insurance covers health, dental, and DUIs.
- 00:15
Shyla ?
Oh, sure does.
- 00:16
Daphne
And let me introduce you to my work wife, Saison. You're gonna love her as much as I do. We've been cubicle mates five years. That's 30 in office years. Hey, work wife!
- 00:25
Saizon
Daphne, how dare you show your face here after you jammed my printer.
- 00:30
No!
- 00:33
Daphne ?
Dammit, Cezanne! I can never live up to your expectations! I'm sorry I'm not her!
- 00:40
Saizon ?
No! I will never ask you to be employers of the month! I just wanted to be loyal. Who is...
- 00:55
Shyla
I'm Shyla, the new district director's director. I'll be dissecting the D2D disintermediate distribution drivables.
- 01:03
Saizon
Are you training someone else, Daphne?
- 01:07
Daphne ?
I am. But of course I wouldn't have to if you did your job.
- 01:12
Saizon ?
Did you expect me to allow you to bring a NASA woman into our medical spreadsheets?
- 01:21
Shyla ?
I like to use Google Sheets to aggregate back-end data if that's what you're into.
- 01:26
Daphne ?
See? Charlotte can bring her little spies to the break room.
- 01:31
Saizon ?
You. Star. No. No! Aye! No! Aye! Look at me.
- 01:39
Cliff
Hey, Daphne. Got a package for you. This time, it isn't broken. Oh! Oh, man. I think.
- 01:45
Saizon ?
Oh, Cliff, you can break in my box any time. Speaking of precious cargo, how is your wife, Clifford? Is she dead yet?
- 01:54
Cliff
No, she's... She couldn't be better, actually. We're expecting baby number six. Four more and we get our own show on TLC, so...
- 02:01
Oh! Sounds fragile.
- 02:04
Saizon ?
Oh! Oh, those packages are broken.
- 02:06
You took a look at my heart.
- 02:22
Shyla ?
You and I take a beat and regroup to figure out how we could self-drive our quarterly yearnings.
- 02:29
My heart is a broken .
- 02:32
Daphne ?
Shut up, we can't. Cezanne is already plugged into my US booty bar.
- 02:37
Saizon ?
Oh, Daphne. Oh, mi esposa del trabajo. Vete. Abandoname cuando mas te necesito. al comienzo del cuarto trimestre.
- 02:53
Shyla ?
My tongue can go south of the border, too.
- 02:56
Saizon ?
No. I will take everything with me. I will take the paper. I will take the mug. Por favor. I want it all.
- 03:09
Daphne ?
We raise it together. I was his mother.
- 03:12
No. You were my work wife. No. I was your work wife. ¿Qué?
- 03:26
Saizon ?
Mandalay?
- 03:27
Shyla ?
Yes.
- 03:28
Saizon ?
I thought you was dead.
- 03:29
Shyla
I'll move to your county. I'm back. And now, Daphne, will you be my work wife? Kaleos do us part.
- 03:38
Speaker 1
Will Daphne say yes to Shaila? Will Saison ever wake up? Will UPS Cliff realize his fly was down the whole time? Find out next week on The Bold and the Cubicle.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from A Black Lady Sketch Show.
