Chris and Lachel: Exit Row

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00

   Speaker 1 ?

   I'm a D, boy, I'll tell you what the meaning is. The baddest turn to action.

2. 00:07
   

   Flight Attendant

   Sir, are you willing and able to assist in case of an emergency?

3. 00:15
   

   Lachel ?

   Babe.

4. 00:16
   

   Chris ?

   Hi.

5. 00:18
   

   Lachel ?

   The lady.

6. 00:18
   

   Flight Attendant

   Are you willing and able to assist in the event of an emergency? I just need a verbal yes.

7. 00:22
   

   Chris ?

   Oh, y'all.

8. 00:24
   

   Flight Attendant

   Sorry, I need a verbal yes.

9. 00:26
   

   Chris

   Bet.

10. 00:26
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    Yes.

11. 00:27
    

    Lachel

    Babe, just say yes.

12. 00:29
    

    Chris

    No doubt.

13. 00:30
    

    Flight Attendant

    Okay. Um, what about you, ma'am? Are you willing and able to assist in the event of an emergency?

14. 00:35
    

    Chris

    Babe, listen to this.

15. 00:38
    

    Lachel ?

    Hold on.

16. 00:40
    

    Chris

    Nigga, bop, bop, bop.

17. 00:42
    

    Lachel ?

    Yes.

18. 00:42
    

    Chris

    Because we never, never stop.

19. 00:45
    

    Chris

    It's good, right?

20. 00:46
    

    Lachel ?

    Yes, it is.

21. 00:46
    

    Chris ?

    It's good.

22. 00:47
    

    Lachel ?

    Yes.

23. 00:47
    

    Chris ?

    It's good.

24. 00:48
    

    Chris

    I wrote that in eighth grade.

25. 00:49
    

    Lachel

    I know. I remember. I was there.

26. 00:51
    

    Flight Attendant

    Are you willing and able to assist in the event of an emergency?

27. 00:53
    

    Lachel

    What emergency?

28. 00:55
    

    Flight Attendant

    A hypothetical one.

29. 00:56
    

    Lachel

    Okay, because we don't have time for an emergency because we are on our way to our honeymoon.

30. 01:00
    

    Chris ?

    Yes.

31. 01:01
    

    Lachel ?

    Yes.

32. 01:02
    

    Chris ?

    Yes.

33. 01:02
    

    Flight Attendant

    Congratulations. And we will take off just as soon as you confirm that you are willing and able to assist.

34. 01:07
    

    Lachel

    Okay, like, I'm currently able, but what if I become unable over the course of the flight? Because anything can happen. You don't know.

35. 01:14
    

    Flight Attendant

    Okay, well, you two don't have to sit here.

36. 01:16
    

    Chris ?

    Ooh, Ru!

37. 01:17
    

    Lachel ?

    Wow! The Ru jumped out at you, didn't it?

38. 01:19
    

    Chris

    Okay, let me ask you this. Do we get to exit first?

39. 01:22
    

    Lachel

    And do I get to take my homegirl with me?

40. 01:23
    

    Chris ?

    Uh-huh.

41. 01:25
    

    Flight Attendant

    Sir? Are you ready to provide a verbal yes?

42. 01:28
    

    Chris ?

    I mean, I felt like I said that. Yeah. You know it.

43. 01:30
    

    Flight Attendant

    Okay. So what do you say?

44. 01:32
    

    Chris

    Yerp.

45. 01:33
    

    Flight Attendant

    Yes.

46. 01:34
    

    Chris

    Yam.

47. 01:35
    

    Flight Attendant

    Yes.

48. 01:35
    

    Chris

    Yaman.

49. 01:36
    

    Flight Attendant

    Yes.

50. 01:37
    

    Chris

    Yodel.

51. 01:38
    

    Flight Attendant

    Yes.

52. 01:38
    

    Chris

    Yoshi.

53. 01:40
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    Yeah. That was just a sound.

54. 01:46
    

    Chris ?

    Yeah.

55. 01:47
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    Yes.

56. 01:49
    

    Chris ?

    Yet.

57. 01:50
    

    Lachel

    Does this even work?

58. 01:51
    

    Flight Attendant

    Ma'am, could you please not do that?

59. 01:53
    

    Lachel

    Because you're over here talking about...

60. 01:54
    

    Flight Attendant

    Ma'am, can you not do that?

61. 01:56
    

    Lachel ?

    Oh, excuse me.

62. 01:59
    

    Chris

    Let me ask you one more thing. How much does this job pay?

63. 02:02
    

    Flight Attendant

    It's not a job. It's volunteer.

64. 02:04
    

    Chris

    Do I get free pretzels?

65. 02:05
    

    Lachel

    That's a good question, babe.

66. 02:07
    

    Chris

    Do I get a blanket?

67. 02:07
    

    Lachel

    Right. Because y'all don't want to give out blankets no more, and it's crazy.

68. 02:10
    

    Chris

    What about pretzel blankets?

69. 02:11
    

    Lachel

    You know we got married.

70. 02:13
    

    Chris ?

    The statistics of black men getting married aren't good.

71. 02:15
    

    Lachel ?

    It's real low.

72. 02:15
    

    Lachel

    So you really need to treat him with some respect, because we have been very above the odds.

73. 02:21
    

    Chris ?

    That's right.

74. 02:22
    

    Flight Attendant

    I will relocate both of you to middle seats in the back of the plane unless I get a verbal yes.

75. 02:27
    

    Lachel ?

    Yeah, yeah. Got it.

76. 02:29
    

    Chris ?

    And you ain't going to move nobody.

77. 02:32
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    Oh, yes. You know what? I'll take it.

78. 02:35
    

    Chris ?

    Yep,

79. 02:36
    

    Flight Attendant

    sir. Sir, get on up. I'm moving you two seats in the back.

80. 02:38
    

    Chris

    I was just playing.

81. 02:39
    

    Flight Attendant

    It's fine. Go to the back.

82. 02:41
    

    Chris ?

    I'll see you when we get there.

83. 02:42
    

    Lachel ?

    I'll see you when we get there.

84. 02:43
    

    Chris ?

    All right. I love you.

85. 02:45
    

    Lachel ?

    Stop playing. We're on a plane.

86. 02:47
    

    Chris ?

    Stop. We're on a plane.

87. 02:49
    

    Lachel ?

    Stop.

88. 02:52
    

    Flight Attendant

    Sir? Hi. Sir? Hi. Would you like an exit row seat? There's lots of leg room.

89. 02:57
    

    Passenger

    Yeah, sure.

90. 02:58
    

    Flight Attendant

    Come on up.

91. 02:59
    

    Lachel ?

    It's my boo. You know?

92. 03:00
    

    Passenger ?

    Yeah. Yeah.

93. 03:01
    

    Flight Attendant

    Do you agree to assist in the event of an emergency?

94. 03:04
    

    Passenger

    Oh, yes.

95. 03:05
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    How do you?

96. 03:06
    

    Lachel ?

    Mm-hmm. You be knowing Jesus.

97. 03:11
    

    Flight Attendant ?

    OK.

98. 03:12
    

    Passenger ?

    How you doing?

99. 03:13
    

    Lachel ?

    Good.

100. 03:14
     

     Chris

     Um, now you, now you done asking questions, Lachelle? Now there's a fake Tyson Bedford looking Chavik Blozeman nigga up there with you?

101. 03:22
     

     Lachel ?

     Yeah.

102. 03:22
     

     Chris ?

     Huh?

103. 03:23
     

     Lachel

     Baby, please. Could you stop? Because this is a very nice airline.

104. 03:27
     

     Chris ?

     Uh-huh.

105. 03:28
     

     Lachel

     And I don't want to get kicked off.

106. 03:29
     

     Chris ?

     Uh-huh.

107. 03:29
     

     Lachel

     So if you could stop yelling, that'd be nice.

108. 03:31
     

     Chris

     Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Does nigga wear camo like me? Doesn't he got a beard like me? Oh, he does? All right, I'm going to sit down.

109. 03:40
     

     Lachel ?

     I got another question.

110. 03:42
     

     Lachel

     Listen, if two trains leave Pittsburgh at 6 o'clock, right?

111. 03:47
     

     Passenger ?

     Yeah.

112. 03:48
     

     Lachel

     One's carrying apples, and one's carrying oranges.

113. 03:50
     

     Chris

     When this nigga going to get out of my seat?