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Strictly Frizzness
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
After parking blocks away, a woman in a red headwrap takes a shortcut down a dark alley and is attacked by a series of hairstyle villains, each introduced with a fighting-game title card. The white-haired Relaxer grabs her with a tub of lye until a splash of cola drives her back; Box Braids lashes at her with metres of braids until the heroine sets them alight; and Natural Hair, bragging that her trimmed, deep-conditioned afro is indestructible, has her in a hold when the Relaxer returns to square off with her old rival. The brawl turns out to be an ad for Rain Fighter 1B, a video game that asks whether transitioning hair can survive the elements, and its final opponent is the rain itself.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I am too fertile to die.
Just because something is hot doesn't mean it's a grill.
Rated T for texture.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Bridget Stokes
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Phil LaMarr voices the Rain Fighter 1B announcer, per IMDb. The sketch opened the season 3 finale and marked a guest return for original cast member Quinta Brunson.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Rain Fighter
Yeah, girl, I had to park six blocks away. Sister doesn't let anyone park in front of her house in case her man decides to come back, so... Now I'm just walking down this dark, unsafe alley, huh? Hello? Oh, Shit. Damn it. No, I am too fertile to die. Those fat-ass kids. Frying bacon on my radiator again? Um, hey, you guys, I told you. Just because something is hot doesn't mean it's a grill. Oh.
- 00:33
Rain Fighter ?
What is that smell?
- 00:34
Relaxer ?
Well, well, well, look at you. over they're all dark and lovely.
- 00:41
Rain Fighter ?
What?
- 00:42
Relaxer ?
Prepare to fry.
- 00:47
Rain Fighter ?
Ow, it burns! Lie! No, for real, it's burning!
- 00:51
Relaxer ?
No, lie. That's how you know it's working.
- 00:54
This
- 00:59
Rain Fighter
No, my chemically smooth is all a ghost! This is what I get for leaving that penny on tails the other day? Wait, who's there? I don't have any money. My silver ice themed denim line did not take off the way I expected.
- 01:15
Come on, come on!
- 01:17
Rain Fighter ?
No, don't Don't put no spells on me.
- 01:19
Box Braids ?
It's not for me. There's The highest quality, pre-stretched, wannabe! Hair like this can only be purchased online! Not at all nutless! My rag is unbreakable!
- 01:43
Box Braids ?
Don't leave me here! Another embarrassing book spread in the street!
- 01:53
Natural Hair ?
Your kitchen no match for these hands. This kink is indestructible. It's been trimmed, treated, and deconditioned. Stay away. I'm very human. Where I once was new growth, I am now wise strength, the strongest, truest form. You're not going anywhere now.
- 02:12
Relaxer ?
I think we need to get something straight. Oh, look who it is, my natural enemy. I may be weak, but it'll take you years to get rid of me.
- 02:23
Natural Hair ?
Honey, it'll take you more than just for me to get rid of me.
- 02:29
Can your transitioning hair fight the elements? Introducing Rain Fighter 1B. The video game that puts your follicles to the test.
- 02:39
Rain Fighter ?
Yes! Fuck you, Rain!
- 02:41
It isn't personal. It's strictly Frizzness. Rated T for texture.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from A Black Lady Sketch Show.
