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Hertep Homecoming
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At Hannah and Kwame's reception, the maid of honor is the bride's older sister Haley, who now goes by Dr. Haddassah Olayinka Ali-Youngman, Pre-PhD, and refuses to answer to her "slave name." Her toast quickly becomes a seminar: she declares Hannah a devil name and offers a replacement that turns out to belong to Rachel Dolezal, brands the engagement ring a blood diamond and insists brooms never existed in Africa, all while her parents heckle and the groom's friends start to admire how deep she is. After a brief detour to praise the couple, she boasts of her own spiritual marriage to Supreme Ramik, which conveniently does not count for tax purposes, and calls on the guests to throw their pork on the floor until her father orders her to sit down or lose her inheritance.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You can't just put "doctor" in front of your name, Haley. Only Oprah can do that for you.
Ring, ring, slavery's calling.
Girl, if you don't sit your five percent ass one hundred percent of the way down, I'm cutting off your inheritance, Haley.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Dime Davis
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
TV Insider ranked Hertep Homecoming eighth among the series' most-viewed sketches in 2023, at 1.5 million views. IMDb credits Preacher Lawson's part as Brian, though the dialogue calls him Ryan.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Ryan
Kwame was my wingman at the senior step show, but he stepped off with Hannah's heart. In another life, this could be my wedding. It's funny. I'm fine. To Hannah and Kwame.
- 00:12
Woo!
- 00:15
Hannah ?
Come on, Ryan, you knew you never had a chance with me.
- 00:18
Ryan ?
All right.
- 00:20
Hannah
It's time for a toast from the maid of honor, my sister, Haley.
- 00:27
Dr. Haddassah
Peace, brothers and sisters. You know I'm emancipated from that slave name. I've told you many times via group text, address me as Dr. Hadassah Olienka Ali Youngman.
- 00:38
Mr. Youngman
You can't just put doctor in front of your name, Haley. Only Oprah can do that for you.
- 00:43
Dr. Haddassah
Congrats to the newlyweds. Kwame and my beloved baby sister, who still embraces her devil name, Hannah. So you see, Hannah reduces to ha and nah. Ha being the laughter of all oppressors, And now, she shouldn't be using that name.
- 00:59
Mom ?
Oh, Lord. It's gonna be Aunt Mabel's funeral all over again.
- 01:02
Dr. Haddassah
That's why I choose to exalt her with her Igbo name, Nkeche Amare Diallo.
- 01:07
What? That's Rachel Jolizel's counterfeit African name.
- 01:11
Dr. Haddassah
No, no, no, no! See, see, see, we are reclaiming that name back from the edgeless white woman who pretended to be a black woman just to get that name from us.
- 01:22
They always plotting.
- 01:23
Kwame ?
See, I told you she was crazy.
- 01:24
Ryan ?
You didn't tell me she was deep.
- 01:27
Dr. Haddassah
See, see, this blood diamond on your finger is just a symbol of your ideological entrapment. Ring, ring, slavery's calling.
- 01:34
Hannah
You promised you wouldn't do this, and that doesn't make any sense.
- 01:38
Dr. Haddassah
No, what doesn't make sense is y'all jumping the broom.
- 01:40
Haley, now is not the time.
- 01:42
Dr. Haddassah
Well, how many Caucasian seconds must pass before it's time for me to speak the truth? Open your ears to blow your mind, original people. Jumping the broom was not something our continental ancestors did, no. There weren't even brooms in Africa because there was no dirt. See, see, see, see, see, the Europeans just put sticks in our hands even though they had been using vacuum cleaners since the Middle Ages. Think about it. Dyson breaks down to die. Son, they want us to kill our children. They tried to humiliate us.
- 02:09
Hannah ?
I'm humiliated.
- 02:10
Dr. Haddassah
The truth is, you two have a beautiful black love that most people would be elated to find.
- 02:17
Whoo! Praise her! Whoo!
- 02:19
Dr. Haddassah
Although what me and my king, Supreme Rameek, have transcends your earthly definition of love. I mean, yes, see, we exchanged our vows on the ancestral plane amongst vibranium. Not down here on your earthly plane. Also, he refuses to marry me on this plane for tax reasons.
- 02:36
Oh, shit. Do taxes work like that?
- 02:37
Dr. Haddassah
So technically, on this plane, she's single. But in your ignorance, dear brother-in-law, I find a beautiful opportunity to educate the newest member of our family. So please, everyone, raise your glasses, take off your shoes, and throw your pork on the floor.
- 02:56
Mr. Youngman
Girl, if you don't sit your 5% ass 100% of the way down, I'm cutting off your inheritance. Hey, Ellie.
- 03:05
Dr. Haddassah
Okay, Daddy.
- 03:06
Ryan
Will Supreme Ramik let you have friends?
- 03:12
Dr. Haddassah
Yeah, he do.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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