Get the Belt

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00

   Pat, I will take a T. Okay, okay, I got it, I got it. I will take a lowercase T.

2. 00:06
   

   Tonisha ?

   Buy a vowel, bitch. Rainice!

3. 00:13
   

   Kimber Zak

   Welcome back to Get the Belt Voted 1992's favorite mother versus child competition show. I'm Kimberzak.

4. 00:20
   

   Carmen Sipp

   And I'm Carmen Sipp.

5. 00:22
   

   Kimber Zak ?

   Tonight, we've got two dynamic contestants going head-to-head. Representing the home team is this season's early standout, Tonisha. Now, she's been known to knock challengers into next week. Yes, she recently took out fan-favorite Man-Man with an early-game spank-out. Her opponent tonight is her eldest daughter, Rayneese. This 13-year-old dynamo has been really focusing on her obedience, and this season, she's undefeated.

6. 00:46
   

   Tonisha ?

   Hand me the remote.

7. 00:47
   

   Carmen Sipp

   Oh, an absolutely brilliant opening move from Tonisha. That remote is clearly well within her own reach. She's using a frustration tactic to get Rayneese to show some attitude, which would, of course, lead to an immediate beat and defeat.

8. 01:01
   

   Kimber Zak

   As we know, many things can lead to a spank out, including showing disrespect, raising your voice, or being told to fix your face.

9. 01:10
   

   Carmen Sipp

   Let's keep an eye on the mouthful region to see if Rhaenys can hold it together. Are you kidding me? Not a smirk or a smile? Astonishing.

10. 01:20
    

    Kimber Zak

    Wow, she knows she nailed that one, and boy, that must feel good.

11. 01:23
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Surely Rhaenys doesn't think it's going to be that easy. Fans know that if a child crosses the threshold of her room without her mother getting the belt, she wins.

12. 01:32
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    Mm. Now, Tanisha was born at night, but she wasn't born last night. Surely she's got more in store here.

13. 01:39
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Ooh, flag on the play. It looks like the batteries are dead.

14. 01:43
    

    Tonisha ?

    Get back here. Bring me some double-A batteries.

15. 01:49
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Oh, the dreaded if-I-have-to-get-up-and-find-it-myself challenge.

16. 01:54
    

    Kimber Zak

    Yeah, no one wants this one. Now, historically, Rayneese has excelled at this obstacle, but she might be battling some fatigue after playing 18 rounds of slide, slide, slippity-slide at recess today.

17. 02:04
    

    Carmen Sipp

    This is where Tanisha's home court advantage really comes in handy.

18. 02:07
    

    Kimber Zak

    Yeah, well, an advantage she always has because Rayneese hasn't paid nan one bill around here. Let's put 15 seconds on the clock.

19. 02:13
    

    Carmen Sipp

    She picked up the blue 10. Not gonna be anything in there but needles and thread.

20. 02:28
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    Honestly, Carmen, you never know. These items are never anywhere that makes a lick of sense.

21. 02:32
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    Oh, looks like this might be all she wrote for Rayneese.

22. 02:46
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    Focus on that by Rayneese. Amazing.

23. 02:55
    

    Kimber Zak

    And the channel has changed. Textbook execution by Rayneese.

24. 02:59
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Earlier tonight, me and man worked Tanisha's last good nerve. It seems to have taken its toll.

25. 03:09
    

    Tonisha ?

    It's a coupon.

26. 03:10
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    As a player, Raynice probably wants to head to a room for the easy win. But as a child, Raynice clearly wants to capitalize off of this rare chance to watch something she has no business watching. Kimber, what's your play here?

27. 03:24
    

    Kimber Zak

    Well, I was in the same position back in 1979. I could either watch Facts of Life, which my mother had banned due to, uh, quote, Joe's lesbian energy. Or I could go to my room for the easy win. And I chose the W because I knew if I didn't start none, there wouldn't be none. That's right.

28. 03:42
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    Ooh.

29. 03:43
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Reaching for the remote, that's risky. Most Venom players will wait until Tonisha hit that good troll sleep before making a move.

30. 03:50
    

    Kimber Zak

    Oh, clearly, Rainice disagrees. She already has the remote. She's not in the clear yet.

31. 03:59
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    78% of wake-ups happen during the channel-changing stage. Something about the abrupt noise shift is disrupting to a snoozing parent. Yeah.

32. 04:08
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    Is she turning down the TV? I've never seen this strategy before.

33. 04:14
    

    Kimber Zak

    Wow, we are either witnessing an embarrassing lack of judgment or a move that could, quite frankly, revolutionize this sport. I

34. 04:21
    

    Carmen Sipp

    mean... Oh, and she did it!

35. 04:24
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    You go, girl! Wow! Wow. These are the moments I live for right here. This is what live TV is about. Whoo! I can't breathe right now. Whoa, wow!

36. 04:34
    

    Kimber Zak

    Making noise while her mother's asleep? She's just showboating now. I mean, this is... Wow.

37. 04:40
    

    Kimber Zak

    Uh-oh, bogey.

38. 04:41
    

    Carmen Sipp

    Yikes, surprise attack by Man Man. Uh

39. 04:44
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    -oh.

40. 04:44
    

    Tonisha

    You letting all the cold air out my house?

41. 04:47
    

    Reniece

    Well, it wasn't me.

42. 04:50
    

    Tonisha

    And you talking back?

43. 04:53
    

    Carmen Sipp

    And just like that, it's over. Congratulations to Tonisha.

44. 04:58
    

    Kimber Zak

    Yeah, you know, this was clearly Man Man's fault, but as we've seen here on Get the Belt Before, It doesn't fucking matter.

45. 05:04
    

    Kimber Zak ?

    Uh, uh, no, ma'am, of course not. I would never track outside on your floors. So tune in next time when we find out whether or not I was too grown to get a whoopin'.

46. 05:24
    

    Tonisha

    You ain't too grown!

47. 05:25
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    Run!

48. 05:25
    

    Tonisha

    You thought I was faster than that? I used to rock track!

49. 05:27
    

    Carmen Sipp ?

    Thanks for watching Get the Belt. Be inspired.