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Gang Orientation
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In the garage that serves as the Reefs' clubhouse, the gang's leader opens the new year with corporate-style announcements: members may now work from home two days a week, parental leave is growing to six months, and the policy gets a gender-neutral name. She then makes each recruit introduce themselves. Jess rambles without offering the required positive goal and is punished with a cold, shady street corner. Aloof Shenedra answers with the bare minimum and is ordered to hand-wash the gang's delicates with a gentle detergent. When a giggling recruit asks whether it is her turn, the leader pulls a gun, then clarifies that only her career is ending and sends her out with her belongings and no severance. The sketch closes as a mock advertisement for the Monster.com job site.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Pack a light jacket, buster.
Don't let this 401k fool you. I'll still... fuck you up.
Be sure to use an unscented, toxin-free detergent.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Dime Davis
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The episode's title, "3rd & Bonaparte Is Always in the Shade," refers to the street corner the gang leader assigns to Jess in this sketch. TVLine included Gang Orientation in its September 2019 list of seven sketches that showed off the show's first season.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Gang Leader ?
The Reefs have an exciting year gang-banging ahead of us. Blippity blippity.
- 00:04
Scat, scat, scat.
- 00:06
Gang Leader ?
But first, let's murk these announcements. This year, we're excited to announce that you can now work from home two days a week as part of our new Telebank policy.
- 00:14
Oh, wow.
- 00:16
Gang Leader ?
And we're increasing our paid parental leave from four months to six months.
- 00:22
Oh, shit. Lowering my risk of postpartum like a motherfucker.
- 00:26
Gang Leader ?
And just to be clear, we're not calling it maternity leave anymore because we don't want to be complicit in enforcing a cis-normative agenda. Blippity?
- 00:35
Scared. Scared. Scared.
- 00:37
Gang Leader ?
Now, we got a few new members here today. So let's start off with a little icebreaker. State your name, where you're from, and one positive thing you hope to get out being in the game. Y'all Blippity? You first.
- 00:52
Jess ?
Okay. Hi, everybody. Hi, everybody. My name's Jess. Um, I'm originally from Houston. But, no, I don't know Beyoncé.
- 01:05
You're wild. You're wild.
- 01:07
Jess ?
Um, I'm just really happy to be here. You know what I'm saying? And I think that's it.
- 01:14
Gang Leader ?
Hold up! I asked you to include a positive tidbit.
- 01:20
Jess ?
Oh, my bad. Um... I'm just really trying to get back...
- 01:23
Gang Leader ?
No, you were too busy being a comedian. And since you don't want to follow instructions, I'm assigning your mark ass to the corner of 3rd and Bonaparte.
- 01:34
Jess ?
Oh, 3rd and Bonaparte? But that corner stay in the shade. I be cold.
- 01:39
Gang Leader ?
Pack a light jacket, buster. Don't let this 401k fool you. I still fuck you up.
- 01:46
Jess ?
OK, bad, blooper.
- 01:48
Gang Leader ?
Now, please note that after this meeting, we will be taking a tour of Reef Territory including all of our satellite corners. Shelly will be giving assignments to all of our new members, while Wanda Yikes over here will keep her same breezy-ass corner. All right, who next? State your name and your goals for trapping.
- 02:13
Shenedra ?
Shanidra.
- 02:14
Stupid.
- 02:21
Gang Leader ?
Why you sitting there looking all blippity-stoopy?
- 02:23
Shenedra ?
You asked me my name, Shanidra.
- 02:25
Gang Leader ?
Oh, so ask for your goals.
- 02:27
Shenedra ?
Oh, to bang?
- 02:29
Gang Leader ?
Okay, you too cool. You can't introduce yourself with enthusiasm. Palsy-asm? You been a reefer what, five minutes? You already trying to stunt? You You didn't even finish your stock paperwork, homie! You think you whore? Finish a 9-9 without looking at your driver's license, nigga! That's whore!
- 02:47
Okay. What? Oh. Okay. Okay.
- 02:58
Gang Leader ?
Why don't you take your tough ass and wash our delicates?
- 03:09
Shenedra ?
Oh, that's nasty, though!
- 03:11
Gang Leader ?
Yeah, be sure to use an unscented, toxin-free detergent. Nigga got eczema. Next!
- 03:21
Gang Recruit ?
Oh, is it my turn?
- 03:23
Gang Leader ?
What the fuck do you mean, is it my turn? He, he, he, he, he, he. Huh? What part of next don't you understand? Some... Hmm, Someone's about to get fired. And I'm gonna fire-fire her.
- 03:34
Jess ?
You're a killer.
- 03:37
Gang Leader ?
Killer? I don't think about to die. It's her career. Yeah, take your gun, your motivational posters, and don't even think about Sarah's it. package!
- 03:53
Ow! Ow!
- 04:22
Monster.com, where even more gas busters get hired. And we mean hired-hired.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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