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Hons Dons and Two Smoking MA Oxons
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A flashy crime-film trailer follows Danny and Lenny through a black market in academic qualifications. They rob a vice-chancellor, sell cut-price degrees and flee an admissions crackdown, before a prestigious doctorate leaves them wondering how to find a buyer.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Move it, it's UCAS!
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:08
Danny
All right, Vice-Chancellor, no saucy moves and you won't get hurt. Where do you keep your robes?
- 00:13
Speaker 1
In the safe, through the door.
- 00:14
Lenny ?
Keys.
- 00:23
Danny ?
Over your gym jams, Vice-Chancellor.
- 00:28
Speaker 1
You can have anything you want. Just don't hurt my family. You can have a first.
- 00:32
Danny
Nothing flashy, you tart. I want a 2-1 in classical civilisation.
- 00:37
Lenny
And I want something more vocational.
- 00:40
Speaker 1 ?
Martin!
- 00:43
Danny
I've got knock-down joint honours from Aberystwyth. Nothing flashy gets you on the management course.
- 00:49
Speaker 2
This is Danny. He always had a better idea than working for a living. He knocks off dodgy qualifications round the back of the University of North London. That used to be a poly.
- 01:00
Lenny
Danny! Move it, it's UCAS!
- 01:10
Speaker 2
This is his mate, Lenny. Not too bright, but he's got an honorary doctorate from the University of Vancouver. Coover. Don't ask him where he got it though.
- 01:19
Danny ?
They're only sitting in guilds!
- 01:27
Speaker 2
Trouble is, it's all very well holding up a comprehensive for a bunch of GCSEs, but sooner or later you're going to get a little bit greedy.
- 01:37
Speaker 1 ?
How do you echo Te Valko's baccalaureate?
- 01:42
Speaker 2
And when that happens, you might just find you've bitten off more than you can chew.
- 01:48
Danny ?
Fucking hell! This is a PhD in political science from Trinity College Dublin!
- 02:00
Lenny ?
How the hell are we going to fence that?
- 02:03
Speaker 2
From the director of Vagina, the greatest heist movie since Educating Rita, Ons, Dons and Two Smoking M.A. Ox-Ons.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from The Mitchell and Webb Situation.
