Colin and Ray: Phone Number

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:02
   

   Ray

   You know Kerry in the open plan upstairs?

2. 00:05
   

   Colin

   What, sad Kerry or Danish Kerry?

3. 00:07
   

   Ray

   See, that's interesting. I know what you mean, but I always think of Danish Kerry as gorgeous Kerry, and the one you think of as sad Kerry as rebound Kerry.

4. 00:15
   

   Colin

   We probably shouldn't get into what that says about you.

5. 00:18
   

   Ray

   Fair enough. But you've worked with rebound Kerry, haven't you? You've got her number.

6. 00:21
   

   Colin

   What, you want me to give you her number so that you can ring her up and go on a date and then see if she'll let you have sex with her?

7. 00:27
   

   Ray

   Please.

8. 00:29
   

   Colin

   It's like showing an office with Caravaggio.

9. 00:30
   

   Ray

   You mean Casanova.

10. 00:32
    

    Colin

    Oh, Casanova is it? You really do fancy your chances. Right, I'm just toothing it from my cell.

11. 00:38
    

    Ray

    Oh, Colin, I do wish you wouldn't use language like that. Anyone could walk in. Toothing now. Are you getting it? Will you please just read it out to me?

12. 00:46
    

    Colin

    Oh, don't be ridiculous, Ray. This is much quicker. Are you getting it?

13. 00:49
    

    Ray

    No, I'm not getting it. I'm waiting for you to read out the number using the ancient but surprisingly efficient communication technology of talking.

14. 00:57
    

    Colin

    Oh. Maybe it's a bit far away. That's sometimes the problem Have you got it now? Fine you win. I'm now turning on Bluetooth. I want to die.

15. 01:11
    

    Colin

    See it's quicker, isn't it?

16. 01:13
    

    Ray

    It demonstrably is not.

17. 01:14
    

    Colin

    It's better though, isn't it?

18. 01:15
    

    Ray

    No, not really.

19. 01:16
    

    Colin

    More fun.

20. 01:17
    

    Ray

    No

21. 01:19
    

    Colin

    Have you got it?

22. 01:20
    

    Ray

    No! Colin, it's Digital information not salt

23. 01:33
    

    Colin

    Why isn't it working? I think your mobile's broken It's all right. I'll email it.

24. 01:38
    

    Ray

    Please!

25. 01:39
    

    Colin

    It's cheaper than texting.

26. 01:40
    

    Ray

    Will you just read out the frigging number?

27. 01:42
    

    Colin

    All right. Crikey. Sorry for trying to save you time in the long run. Sorry I can't chalk it on a little blackboard like at infant school and then take it to the nearest post office just in time for the last pigeon. Do you not want me to have sex with Kerry? Is she your mum or something? Ray, I have absolutely no interest in your penis or who or where you want to put it near or in. I will now read out the number.

28. 02:10
    

    Ray

    Thank you.

29. 02:12
    

    Colin

    So, it's Kerry. Have you put that in?

30. 02:15
    

    Ray

    No, I prefer to put the number in first and then save the name second.

31. 02:19
    

    Colin

    Is this going to be the new problem? No, no problem at all. It's just that in predictive text, Kerry comes out Jerry, and I wouldn't want you to involve yourself in some kind of humorous misunderstanding. misunderstanding

32. 02:29
    

    Ray

    Your keenness to avoid humorous misunderstandings is one of your more appealing qualities Colin now Will you please just give me Kerry's telephone number and in a way that is not completely perverse?

33. 02:41
    

    Colin

    Add four four or oh two zero seven ninety four six nought thousand eight hundred and sixty nine

34. 02:54
    

    Ray

    do you mean 0207 946 0869

35. 02:57
    

    Colin

    well yes if you want to be boring about it

36. 02:59

    Speaker 1

    how much how much for the wardrobe that will make 250 it's quite a lot isn't it not really French oak 1890s gateway to Narnia