Friends of Moneypenny

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.

1. 00:00

   So, who should we invite to our next do?

2. 00:02

   Oh, let's invite Moneypenny.

3. 00:04

   Oh,

4. 00:04

   yeah, let's have Moneypenny. She's always good value. Although... What? There's a

5. 00:09

   chance

6. 00:10

   she'll bring that bloke. Oh, God, yeah, I think I know the one you mean. The tall one. What's his name? John. James. James, yeah. What a penis.

7. 00:20

   Well, you remember last time, it was only a barbecue and he turned up in his tuxedo.

8. 00:24

   I

9. 00:25

   know, stood around making smug remarks. I don't know what Moneypenny sees in him.

10. 00:29

    Well,

11. 00:29

    you remember that drink stew I had just before Christmas? Moneypenny brings John... James.

12. 00:33

    ..James along.

13. 00:34

    Oh, God, but I thought Christmas spirit. Absolutely. So I said, Hi, James, we've got mulled wine, or I think there's some beer in the fridge. Yeah. Cock asked for a martini. A martini? A martini, yeah.

14. 00:46

    Oh, come on. So I said, I'm sorry, James, I don't think I've got any martini. I mean, why would I have any martini? What does he think it is? 1973? I mean,

15. 00:55

    where

16. 00:56

    does that guy get off? He keeps leaving these around. I think he gets them free at work. It's Moneypenny I feel sorry for. Do you see what I was going around with the body? What? Well, I said to Moneypenny, can you

17. 01:08

    manage another finger in there? Meaning? Finger of vodka in her glass of drink.

18. 01:12

    Exactly. Self

19. 01:13

    -explanatory. Yeah, and then James starts rolling his eyes like he's having some kind of stroke and says, oh, you can always get another finger inside Moneypenny.

20. 01:23

    I

21. 01:26

    just

22. 01:26

    literally did not know where to look.

23. 01:30

    FINGER INSIDE MONEYPENNY! I know!

24. 01:32

    And

25. 01:32

    I don't think Moneypenny was

26. 01:33

    even

27. 01:34

    at all turned on. Well, she was probably still recovering from the Darren incident. Oh, what was that? Oh, didn't you hear? Well, Darren turned up. And anyway, he starts getting a bit lippy about James's cigarette case. What did he say? Oh, said it was

28. 01:46

    gay. Well, it is gay. Yeah, I know, exactly. Anyway, everyone's laughing, thinking, bit cheeky, but you know. And then suddenly, James picks him up and throws him through a window! Bloody hell! Is

29. 01:57

    that why Darren can't walk now?

30. 01:59

    Yeah! Poor

31. 02:01

    guy landed on a railing spike and it went straight through his spine.

32. 02:06

    Everyone's in shock, apart from James, who strolls over to the window, glances down and says, what a piercing bore. Piercing bore? There's no such expression.

33. 02:18

    I know, well, the railing was right next to a crusher. It's pretty clear he'd wanted to say crushing bore, but he'd miss and he was making the best of a bad job.