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Elf on the Shelf Support Group

Saturday Night LiveSNL
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

At a North Pole support group, Elf on the Shelf dolls unload the indignities of a season spent frozen in place in other people's homes.

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

After a storybook introduction explaining that Elves on the Shelf watch children and report back to Santa, a North Pole rec-center meeting led by Waffles Sillymuffin hears from elves struggling with the job. Zippy has had his fallen hat stapled to his head, newcomer Giggleboops has spent three weeks lost between couch cushions, and Twinklebutter breaks down after her family's new cat mauls her while Santa's rules forbid her to move. Waffles reveals that an elf who thinks a naughty thought explodes into confetti, a real danger for Stickynummies, whose fraternity-house family poses him in increasingly lewd photos; when Zippy admits he likes the pictures, he bursts on the spot. Picklefickle describes watching an injured grandfather call for help for hours, and the long-reluctant Deedlebeep finally tells how a dog swallowed and passed him, an ordeal that leaves him blaming Santa until he too explodes.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 7

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I'm talking to triple-A batteries like they're my friends, man.

If they think a naughty thought, they explode into confetti.

I eat sugar with my mouth, not my nose.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Ariana Grande hosted this Christmas episode, which was also Bowen Yang's final episode as a cast member.

ScriptEnglish · 28 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:01

    Elves on Shelves watch children all day to see if they're nice or mean. At night, they fly like Santa's sleigh and tell Santa what they've seen. But the job isn't always jolly. Each winter, it can cause their bright spirits to droop. So at the North Pole Rec Center meets the Elf on the Shelf Support Group.

  2. 00:25

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Okay, okay, looks like this is everyone. For our newcomers, hi. I'm Waffles Silly Muffin, and I received a master's in psychotherapy from Peppermint. I put this group together to help us work through our trauma, so has anyone had a particularly rough week?

  3. 00:45

    Zippy

    Yes! Look what they did to me! My house fell down, so they stapled it to my head!

  4. 00:52

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Mmm. Mmm. That's hard. Yeah. That's why we have this group, right? Deedlebeep, we haven't seen you for a while. You feel like sharing?

  5. 01:03

    Deedlebeep

    oh No, man not yet

  6. 01:08

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    that's okay and i see we have a new face hi there

  7. 01:13

    Giggleboops

    uh hi i'm giggle boobs and three weeks ago i fell in between the cushion of the couch and nobody's found me and um i'm going freaking crazy man like um i'm talking to triple a batteries like they're my friends man

  8. 01:31

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Hey,

  9. 01:31

    Giggleboops

    I'm like, when are they going to... me? Like, when are they gonna find me?

  10. 01:36

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Hey, hey, hey, Hey, hey, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. Twinkle Butter, would you like to share?

  11. 01:45

    Twinklebutter

    Sure. Um, hi. I'm Twinkle Butter. I'm watching as an angel, and I love her more than gumdrops, but this year they got a cat.

  12. 01:58

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Mm-hmm, and how are you getting along with the cat?

  13. 02:01

    Twinklebutter

    Bad. As As you you can see, it ripped my ass in half. I like them for rats. And since Santa says I can't move or speak, I just have to... Hey I just have to let it happen! I just wish elves could die! Why can't we die? I'm sorry, I'm gonna cry!

  14. 02:28

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Let it out. Let it out, let it all out. Yes, it's okay, guys, this isn't Santa's workshop. You're allowed to cry here. And actually elves can die. If they think a naughty thought, they explode into confetti.

  15. 02:43

    Stickynummies

    It's hard for me not to think naughty thoughts. I'm on a shelf in a frat house at Arizona State University and they pose me in ways that aren't very jolly. They take pictures, like this one, and also this one. I eat sugar with my mouth, not my nose. And then the worst one, this. Picture

  16. 03:23

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    What is happening in that picture, sticky nummies?

  17. 03:26

    Stickynummies

    I don't know.

  18. 03:28

    Zippy

    I think I know what's happening, and I think I like it.

  19. 03:34

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Oh, no, Zippy, no, no! You know? It's for the It's for the best. He was in pain. Deedle beep. You want to share now?

  20. 03:54

    Deedlebeep

    No, man, miss me with that.

  21. 03:56

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    Okay, okay. You know, Pickle Thickle, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought your home was warm and jolly.

  22. 04:02

    Picklefickle

    It was. But the other day, the grandpa was alone in the house and fell. And because Santa won't let us move, I had to sit still and watch this... I man moan for help for nine hours while making this face!

  23. 04:20

    Deedlebeep

    Man, that ain't nothing! I got eaten by my family's big ol' dumb sum-of-a-bitch dog. He took me down in one bite.

  24. 04:35

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    How did you get out?

  25. 04:37

    Deedlebeep

    This How you think? I came out the back door. The dog passed me out Hershey hole. Whipped and me-doo right in the backyard with my hat sitting on top of the pile. Got me thinking, man, that's Santa. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

  26. 05:03

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    OK, be careful. Let's not have any naughty thoughts, Needlebeep.

  27. 05:06

    Deedlebeep

    Too late! Because I think Santa is... Santa is a butt!

  28. 05:16

    Waffles Sillymuffin

    OK, well, let's call it there. Yeah.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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