Arby's

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Ving Rhames

   It's back, the Arby's 5 for 10. That's right, you get five Arby's roast beef sandwiches for only $10. That's five stacked, juicy roast beef sandwiches for just $10. What do you have to say about that?

2. 00:17
   

   Bowen Yang

   I guess all I have to say is, how?

3. 00:22
   

   Cecily Strong

   Yeah, yeah, that just seems like a lot of roast beef sandwiches for $10.

4. 00:27
   

   Ving Rhames

   it's five heaping piles of tender roast beef for only ten measly dollars can you even believe it

5. 00:37
   

   Keke Palmer

   Honestly, no

6. 00:39
   

   Mikey Day

   yeah we're struggling to understand the physics of how this much roast beef is ten dollars

7. 00:46
   

   Keke Palmer

   because isn't one roast beef sandwich normally at least five dollars

8. 00:50
   

   Ving Rhames

   i bet you never thought ten $10 could get you five mountains of roast beef.

9. 00:58
   

   Mikey Day

   No, that's exactly what we're saying. We don't think it's possible.

10. 01:02
    

    Keke Palmer

    I just googled roast beef at the grocery store, and it sells for $11 a pound. But you're saying...

11. 01:09
    

    Ving Rhames

    We're giving you pound after pound of roast beef for just $10?

12. 01:14
    

    Mikey Day

    Yeah, see, that's what's throwing us off. Because if roast beef is $11 a pound, I mean, I know bread is super cheap, but it's not negative dollars.

13. 01:22
    

    Keke Palmer

    Like, Arby's is a for-profit business, right? Like, your goal is to make money?

14. 01:29
    

    Mikey Day

    Because I can make five roast beef sandwiches at home for $10. I don't think I can make five roast beef sandwiches for less than $30.

15. 01:37
    

    Keke Palmer

    So I guess we're wondering, where are you getting all this roast beef?

16. 01:43
    

    Ving Rhames

    Arby's. We have the meats.

17. 01:46
    

    Cecily Strong

    No, no, no. That doesn't answer his question. We know you have the meats, But where are you getting the meats?

18. 01:53
    

    Bowen Yang

    Yeah. Also, what kind of meats?

19. 01:57
    

    Ving Rhames

    And over at Taco Bell, don't miss the new $5 box.

20. 02:02
    

    Bowen Yang

    Wait, what?

21. 02:04
    

    Ving Rhames

    You get a Chalupa Supreme, a beefy five-layer burrito, cinnamon twists, nacho cheese and chips, and a 20-ounce soda for only $5.

22. 02:16
    

    Cecily Strong

    Oh, my God. Is that real?

23. 02:19
    

    Ving Rhames

    Look it up. It's the $5 box, only at Taco Bell.

24. 02:24
    

    Bowen Yang

    OK, OK, I don't like that you changed the subject to Taco Bell, because now I have a lot of questions about this $5 box. You get multiple burritos, and cinnamon twists, and chips with nacho cheese, and a giant soda for $5? How can that physically happen? That means each full burrito is like $0.70.

25. 02:45
    

    Ving Rhames

    So Arby's is looking pretty good by comparison, right?

26. 02:49
    

    Cecily Strong

    no no this all sounds horrible and I thought the four-for-four menu at Wendy's was insane

27. 02:57
    

    Bowen Yang

    Ooh, what's that?

28. 02:58
    

    Ving Rhames

    Oh, that's a full cheeseburger an order of chicken tenders fries and a soda for $4

29. 03:05
    

    Bowen Yang

    mmm sounds suspicious

30. 03:08
    

    Cecily Strong

    hold on Ving Rhames you do the voiceover in the store

31. 03:13
    

    Ving Rhames

    that's right I'm physically present at every Arby's location. Arby's. We have the meats. I'm sorry.

32. 03:21
    

    Cecily Strong

    And you think the Wendy's deal sounds suspicious?

33. 03:25
    

    Bowen Yang

    You're the ones offering five giant...

34. 03:27
    

    Ving Rhames

    Towers.

35. 03:28
    

    Bowen Yang

    ...of roast beef for $10.

36. 03:32
    

    Cecily Strong

    How many sandwiches do you get from one cow?

37. 03:35
    

    Ving Rhames

    Oh, I don't know. A million?

38. 03:38
    

    Cecily Strong

    But we'd honestly rather pay more and get less roast beef. then we wouldn't be worried so much about where it came from

39. 03:45
    

    Ving Rhames

    okay so how much for how much

40. 03:47
    

    Bowen Yang

    okay i don't know i guess two roast beef sandwiches for 12 dollars i think three for 15.

41. 03:54
    

    Cecily Strong

    you're gonna eat three roast beef sandwiches

42. 03:56
    

    Ving Rhames

    hey oh you do not shame me not in my debut arby's commercial Arby's. New three for 15 you'll pay a little more but at least you'll understand how it could physically be possible