You're tuned to the good stuff
Weekend Update: Dawn Lazarus on Third Winter Storm
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
After two huge winter storms batter the East Coast, Michael Che throws to Weekend Update meteorologist Dawn Lazarus (Vanessa Bayer) for a look at what comes next. Dawn answers in a beaming mix of baby talk and invented jargon, so Che keeps stopping her to ask what she means. She blames live-TV jitters, pins the stormy winter on global warming with a childish phrase, and hands out safety tips that are mostly gibberish. When Che finally asks the one useful question, whether another storm is coming, she cheerfully admits she has no idea, and Che and Colin Jost sign off from the desk.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
We're looking at not one, not two, but two big biggies.
Absolutely dump after dump. Wow.
Only about half of what you're saying makes sense.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Weekend Update anchor
The eastern seaboard was slammed by two massive winter storms in seven days, canceling thousands of flights and leaving millions without power. Now, a third storm may be on the way. Here to explain is Weekend Update meteorologist Dawn Lazarus.
- 00:12
Dawn Lazarus
Thank And thank you, McCockle. They got that right. We're looking at not one, not two, but two big biggies. Some of the biggest bigs we've seen in quite a time. Absolutely dump after dump. Wow.
- 00:32
Weekend Update anchor
I'm sorry. I'm having trouble understanding what you're saying.
- 00:36
Dawn Lazarus
Well, it's simple. Windy winds are coming out of your north and your east, pushing it way down into that major cold kahuna, and yeah?
- 00:46
Weekend Update anchor
Y-Yeah what? What? You sounded like you had more to say.
- 00:53
Dawn Lazarus
Half.
- 00:55
Weekend Update anchor
Is something wrong, Dawn? Only about half of what you're saying makes sense.
- 00:59
Dawn Lazarus
It's live TV, and it's a bit nervous, okay? Cameras will make that mouth go poop.
- 01:05
Weekend Update anchor
All right, what can you tell us about why there's been so many storms?
- 01:09
Dawn Lazarus
Yeah, what a wow it's been out on that side. This year's got temps in the simple dip-its. Why? Global warming. We treat that Earth like a big bitch, okay?
- 01:21
Weekend Update anchor
Okay, so it seems like storms are becoming more common. Do you have any tips for how to prepare or...?
- 01:26
Dawn Lazarus
Hmm. Da betcha. First of all, be sure to keep it safety. And, hey, if you got to go car on those icy roads, slowing it right down will be that big pop of dealing, okay?
- 01:37
Weekend Update anchor
Yeah, okay. So are you able to tell us whether there's going to be another storm? Dawn? Dawn?
- 01:46
Dawn Lazarus
Yeah.
- 01:48
Weekend Update anchor
Is there another storm on the way?
- 01:50
Dawn Lazarus
She don't know.
- 01:52
Weekend Update anchor
Okay, Dawn Lazarus, everybody.
- 01:54
Dawn Lazarus
Thank you. Thank you.
- 01:55
Weekend Update anchor
Michael Chang. I'm Colin Jost. Good night.
- 02:00
Thank you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Saturday Night Live.
